Lonely Hearts
by Aria6
Summary: Roxas is obsessed with Axel and when Axel confesses how lonely he is, takes the chance to kidnap him. This will be a story of romance and general craziness! Enjoy and please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Axel hummed tunelessly as he looked into his mug of beer. It took his mind off his sorrows for a bit.

He was in a very unusual bar for him. Usually he frequented very hip, very cutting edge bars with all of his friends from school. But his friends were gone. Gone off to Uni, gone off to trades, gone off to help in the family business. Only he was left behind to do… what? Even he didn't know. But those hip bars were unbearably lonely at the moment so he'd gone to be lonely in new surroundings. Axel tilted his head as he listened to the old country song playing.

_She said, Baby things change. I said, but I feel the same.  
She said, well let me explain, baby, how things can change._

_I said, but that doesn't show how a love that could grow  
Would become so estranged. She said, well baby, things change._

_She said, na, na, na, na, na, now, now now baby, don't try  
To figure this out or ask questions 'bout why._

_Forever's a promise no love can survive. And trust with hearts just don't apply.  
She said, 'cause baby, things change._

"I know things change, you don't have to tell me that." Axel said grumpily before downing his beer with a sigh and going to the bar for another. When he got back he frowned as he saw a tow-headed boy in the seat across from his. He was holding a notebook and looking vaguely at the wall.

"Hey, this is my table." Axel wasn't inclined to share. But then the boy looked up and Axel's eyes widened as he met big blue eyes. Beautiful and deep enough to drown in.

"I know." The boy said in a soft voice that Axel had to strain a bit to hear. "But you looked lonely. Do you mind if I join you?" He hesitated then made a quick decision. This kid seemed okay and his spiky gold hair was nice. He was really cute in fact.

"Sure, why not." Axel took a seat as the boy smiled and opened his notebook, idly sketching something. Axel tried to get a look although it wasn't very easy upside down. "Hey, are you drawing me?"

"Yes." The boy said simply. "You're very striking. I'm Roxas by the way."

"Oh. Fair enough." Axel knew his looks were striking, both from nature and the tattoos he'd had done on his cheeks. "I'm Axel. Pleased to meet you." He offered Roxas his hand and the blond smiled before taking it in a quick handshake. Axel noticed that his hand felt rough, as if the blond was accustomed to hard work. His own hand probably wasn't much softer. He'd spent the summer working construction and even with gloves that tended to toughen the hands. They sat in silence for a while, drinking their beers as Roxas sketched. The blonde finally broke the silence.

"So what are you doing here? This isn't a usual place for you." Axel tilted his head at that comment. It was a little odd but Roxas was probably a regular here.

"Just kinda depressed. Beer and country music is about the right speed." Axel said with a shrug, scratching idly at the table. Roxas blinked.

"Depressed? What are you depressed about?" Axel grinned tiredly at the surprise in the blonde's voice.

"Just everything." Axel gestured widely, taking the bar and the country music. "You want to know why I'm here, getting blasted and listening to western tunes? Because my friends are all gone to Uni. I'm the only one still here because my grades were shit and no University would look at me." Axel heaved a sigh. "Maybe I should join Lex, learn to be a plumber or something. At least they make good money. Or join the army, I don't know… fuck. No one would notice if I vanished tomorrow." Axel was looking into his beer and didn't notice the sudden electrified stillness from Roxas.

"Surely your parents would notice." Roxas said softly and Axel laughed before downing the rest of his beer.

"Parents! Haha… yeah, parents are something other people have. I'm an orphan. Got raised by an aunt but she died three years ago." Axel shrugged. "It's just me myself and I these days." Axel tried not to feel depressed at that but failed miserably. The alcohol was starting it's work but instead of blurring his sadness, it deepened it. "Just me myself and I…" A warm hand on his shoulder startled him and Axel looked up into blue eyes.

"Let me get you another beer." Roxas said and went to the bar. Axel almost protested but then shrugged. Free beer was nice and if Roxas was trying to get in his pants, so what? A fun night with a cute blonde might make him feel better for a while. Axel noticed that Roxas looked to have muscles under his denim shirt as he walked back with a couple mugs of beer. That was nice.

"Thanks. I'll get you the next round." Roxas just smiled as Axel drank deeply. Then the redhead blinked as a sudden wave of dizziness hit. "Oh…" Axel wobbled as he suddenly felt tired, incredibly, overwhelmingly tired. He wasn't that close to his limit, was he? He struggled to keep his eyes open as Roxas helped him up. Axel clung to the smaller man. "S-Sorry. Fuck." This was embarrassing. He was going to look like a moron who couldn't hold his booze.

"Don't worry about it." Axel's heart warmed at those tolerant words and he planted a big, soppy kiss on a startled Roxas.

"Yer so cute." He slurred out, his vision coming and going as Roxas helped him out of the bar. "Y'know that right?"

"Um… not really, but thank you." Came the soft reply. Axel would have insisted on Roxas' cuteness some more… but he was just too tired and the car seat was soft. He vaguely remembered he didn't own a car but he didn't really care. This was good. The sound of the car starting didn't alarm him. Roxas was just taking him home.

Curling up a bit, Axel let himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

He woke up the next day with an intense migraine and enough general aches and pains to make him wish for an entire bottle of Advil.

"Ahhh." Axel groaned softly, covering his eyes as the light stabbed at them. He shifted and blinked as he heard something clink and realized he was on unfamiliar sheets. "Eh?" Sitting up, he ran his tongue over his teeth and glanced around. He had an unbelievably foul taste in his mouth and needed some water. That concern though was put on the back burner as he realized he had no idea where he was.

He was in the basement of a wooden building, that much was clear. It was rather nicely furnished with a full bathroom, an entertainment centre with a few beanbag chairs, a bunch of weights and other equipment as well as the bed he was sitting on. It was an odd sort of room. Why would someone put a bed in a room like this? Axel shrugged and stood, feeling wobbly.

_Clink._ Axel suddenly became aware of cold metal on his wrist and looked down in disbelief. There was a chain coiled around his wrist, tightly enough that he was sure he wasn't going to just slip it off. His hands were rather large anyway. The chain was held in place with a padlock and Axel's eyes widened as he saw the chain was fixed to the wall. There was plenty of length to the chain, he'd be able to reach anything in the room but it was clear someone didn't want him leaving.

"What the FUCK?" Axel's exclamation seemed to draw attention and the door opened. Axel whirled as a spiky haired boy stepped into the room, smiling. "Roxas?!?"

"I'm afraid so." Roxas replied, his voice still that soft tone. It suddenly struck Axel as dangerous. "I'm sorry about the drug in your beer but it was the safest way to bring you here. You haven't lost your virtue… yet." Axel swallowed convulsively at that. Surely the kid hadn't brought him here to rape him! If nothing else it wasn't like he was tied down. On the other hand, Roxas could easily have a gun… "Would you like some water? Oh, and please don't try anything. There's no phone where you can reach and this place is quite isolated. If I died suddenly you would probably starve to death."

"Uh." That make Axel quickly reconsider his first ideas. "Water would be good. Are you some kind of psycho killer or something?" That thought was really scary. Roxas looked thoughtful.

"What would you do if I were?" He asked curiously as he got a glass of water for the redhead.

"Uh… cry a lot and beg for my life?" Axel said weakly as he took the water. Roxas smiled a bit at that reply.

"That would make an interesting role-play. But no, I'm not a killer. The only things I've killed have been farm animals and that's just what you have to do at slaughtering time." Axel nodded cautiously as he drank the water. It made him feel a bit better and he rubbed his head. He looked up as the bed creaked and saw Roxas sitting beside him. Blue eyes met green and Axel almost recoiled as Roxas tried to give him a kiss. The blonde smiled at his obvious repulsion and something odd flickered in those blue eyes, something Axel couldn't understand. "Not just yet. I'll give you some time to recover, I'm sure you can't enjoy anything with the way your head probably feels. Would you like something for breakfast?"

"Whatever you have. And I'm not having sex with you." Axel said more bravely than he felt. This was creepy as hell. Roxas laughed and shook his head.

"You say so now but I think you'll change your mind. After all…" The blonde leaned close to whisper in his ear. "You're lonely." Axel bristled but the blonde was already getting up to leave the room. "I'll be back when breakfast is done." Axel stared after him, then glanced down at the chain on his wrist.

What had he gotten himself into?


	2. Sex with a Hot Stalker

Breakfast turned out to be pancakes drizzled with syrup and butter. Axel dug right in, finding he had quite an appetite. Normally he didn't when he had a hangover but the effects of the drug Roxas had given him felt different. Roxas was sitting beside him on the bed, eating his own breakfast and Axel really wished he would go away. The silence was definitely creeping him out. Finally it was too much to bear.

"So why are you doing this?" He had to ask and Roxas looked up with a sad smile. It momentarily made him look angelic and Axel had to concentrate on the fact that he was mad at the blonde.

"I'm lonely too." Roxas said softly. "I'd been thinking about it a while but… I never imagined you felt the same way." Axel wished he could go back in time and lie about how much he was happy about his life. "And… look." Roxas pushed over his notebook and Axel frowned, flipping it open. There was the last picture in it from the bar. It was really very good, he noticed, managing to capture how sad he was at that moment. Then he flipped back through the rest.

"Um." They were all pictures of him. Laughing, talking, a quick sketch of him walking down the street, standing at the train stop. They were all beautiful and Roxas clearly had talent but… "OK, this is creepy stalker territory." Roxas laughed and Axel looked up at him, eyes wide.

"I've kidnapped you and you're chained in my basement. That should be obvious." Roxas pointed out with a smile and Axel rubbed his head. This was making his brain hurt.

"I assume that no one's likely to hear me if I yell? Although I'm going to be testing that." He had to at least try. Roxas laughed.

"Knock yourself out. Although not while I'm here, or I'll have to hurt you." Any other time Axel would have taken that as a joke. Right now he wasn't sure.

"Why didn't you just ask me on a date or something?" Axel muttered, annoyed. Roxas just looked at him a moment.

"You would have said no." Axel opened his mouth to protest and Roxas waved impatiently. "And if you hadn't said no I would have bored you. I'm not interesting like Demyx." Axel blinked at that. How long had Roxas been stalking him, that he knew the names of his friends? "Or witty like Marluxia or bitchy like Larxene… I'm just me. I spend all day trying to make a living at this farm and I draw sometimes. Riveting. No one ever notices me…" Roxas seemed very sad for a moment then shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I've wanted you for years and now I'll finally have you." He moved closer and Axel moved away, holding his empty plate between them. "Oh stop it. I do have a gun upstairs, I can get it if necessary."

"Fuck you!" Axel regretted the exclamation as Roxas smiled.

"No, that's what I want to do to you." Roxas suddenly slapped the plate out his hands and Axel cursed as it went rolling on the floor. "That'll be a bit of a mess. Oh well, the floor is wood." Roxas leaned in to kiss Axel then pulled back with a yelp as the redhead bit him. He grinned, eyes bright and didn't seem to mind his swelling lip at all. "Sexy. Do that again." Roxas grabbed at him and Axel ended up wrestling the smaller man a bit before Roxas whispered in his ear. "Are you going to make me get that gun?"

"…No." Axel growled out, fear knotting his stomach. He really didn't want Roxas to have a gun. Roxas kissed him again and this time Axel let him. It wasn't really a bad kiss although Roxas wasn't too practiced. The blonde drew back and sighed, stroking his hair with a strange look in his eyes.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered and Axel swallowed at the longing in those big blue eyes. "I wanted you to love me but anger is almost as good. You look so animated."

"I'm a guy. It's handsome, Roxas." Axel said in a very pissed off tone, making Roxas laugh. "And if you want me to love you you're doing it wrong." Axel didn't think he could ever love someone who was keeping him chained in his damn basement. Roxas paused for a moment then shrugged.

"I'll take what I can get." He started pulling away Axel's shirt and he almost started struggling again before remembering the threatened gun. Roxas seemed crazy enough that the last thing he wanted was for that to make an appearance. Taking a deep breath, Axel let the blonde disrobe him then winced as a warm hand found his limp length, slowly stroking him. Roxas leaned in to kiss him again and his shirt was startlingly real between them, rough on his bare skin. "Axel, relax and enjoy it. I don't want to hurt you." Roxas murmured, not getting much reaction from the redhead. "And this will hurt if you don't get into it." For a moment Axel was tempted to keep ignoring the unwanted touches. It wasn't hard, he wasn't going to get turned on by something this unwelcome. Then Roxas wouldn't be able to pretend it was anything but rape… but would the blonde care? He doubted it. Roxas was too far gone in his private obsession and Axel really didn't want to be hurting. Taking a deep breath, he looked into those big blue eyes and ran a hand through spiky blonde hair. Roxas really was very cute.

"Get that shirt off." He said gruffly and Roxas laughed, pulling off the denim shirt and stroking him again. Axel let himself react this time and impatiently pulled down Roxas' zipper. The blonde helped, pulling off his pants and then kicking them away. Underwear followed and they were both naked, exploring each other on the bed. Their eyes met and Axel almost felt sorry for Roxas. There was a kind of wonder in his eyes, an amazement that this was really happening. Then the blonde kissed him again and it was rough, demanding. Axel returned the harshness, running his hands roughly over Roxas' body and leaving behind red marks. The blonde didn't seem to mind a bit, arching into that attention and rubbing against him. Axel groaned softly as he felt that pleasant friction, the way their cocks slid against each other. "You want the top?" He managed to ask. If Roxas hadn't been so dominant in the situation he'd have tried to take the blonde as a matter of course, but right now Roxas was in charge. The blonde shuddered and Axel briefly caught a haunted look in his eyes.

"Yes." Roxas muttered and caught his lips for another bruising kiss. Axel was sure they were both going to be well marked by the time this was over. That was actually pretty sexy although he might regret it later. Roxas suddenly cursed and pulled away. "One second." Axel waited impatiently as the blonde found his discarded pants and pulled out a small bottle from the back pocket. The lube was cold but quickly warmed up as Roxas spread it over his fingers, reaching behind him to open the redhead up. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing there and Axel reflected that it was a little odd. Roxas didn't know how to kiss that well but knew how to prepare someone for anal sex? Although…

"Like this." Axel wasn't a huge fan of being on the bottom but he knew what positions he liked better. He shifted over so he was facing away from Roxas, to the side. The blonde hesitated a moment before figuring out what he was doing and kept up his ministrations, finding his prostate and making the redhead gasp. Roxas' other hand found his length and the combination of sensations was intense. "Anytime now." Axel said through gritted teeth and Roxas laughed before pulling his hand away and inserting something much larger and hotter instead. "Ah!" Axel had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. It had over a year since he'd been on the receiving end and he'd forgotten how good it could feel. Roxas began taking him in a quick, hard rhythm that made him glad he'd chosen this position.

"Axel." Roxas said breathily, reaching in front of him to stroke him with every thrust. It was hard to think of anything with that heat inside him and in front of him, but Axel turned his head and the blonde immediately caught his lips again. Axel bit him again and Roxas moaned in pleasure as he speeded his thrusts. The blonde came first, biting down on his shoulder in the moment and Axel gasped as Roxas squeezed him. The redhead came a moment later and had to struggle to get his breath back after the intense orgasm. "Axel." Roxas murmured again, nuzzling the back of his neck for a moment before slowly pulling away. Axel groaned at the empty feeling and shivered slightly. He hadn't meant to enjoy it quite that much. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Roxas said with a content sigh, reaching up to stroke his hair again. Axel smiled wryly before catching his hand, looking into deep blue eyes.

"I think I've gotten the idea, stalker." What could have been an angry comment came out as banter and Roxas laughed before planting another kiss on his lips. This one was more tender and felt awkward again, as if Roxas wasn't used to giving or receiving gentle kisses.

"Well, I need to get to work." He said reluctantly as he sat up. "There's plenty of things here to entertain you, but if you need anything just let me know. I'll be back for lunch."

"Hn, alright." Axel privately thought he was going to get bored quickly but he could always ask for books. And maybe a computer although he'd never get internet access. But it would be good just to be able to write. "See you later Roxas." Axel watched appreciatively as the blonde pulled his clothes back on. He privately thought Roxas was wrong… how could people not notice him, with his lovely blonde hair, blue eyes and muscular build? Although he was very soft spoken. Maybe that was it. Roxas' personality didn't make much of an impression at first.

Shaking away the speculation, Axel waited until Roxas was gone to get dressed and take serious stock of his prison. While it wasn't unpleasant down here he very much wanted to get out. Roxas had to be nutty to do this in the first place and he didn't trust that the gun was going to stay upstairs. And what if someone started looking for him? Axel was glumly certain it would be months before anyone realized he was gone, but his friends might eventually notice. Maybe. If they thought he just wasn't being lazy about updating his Facebook.

"That's just depressing." Axel muttered to himself as he explored the basement. On the way he picked up the discarded plate and shook his head at the maple syrup on the floor. "Yick." That took only a few minutes to clean up though and soon he was exploring again.

Axel thought he was in some kind of farmhouse. Roxas had mentioned a farm and the building felt old to him, old wood and very solid. There was a small window set high in the wall letting light into the room and when Axel peeked out it, he could only see grass and a fence in the distance. Rural but possibly quite close to the city. There were plenty of farms within a thirty minute drive of his home. If he could break out the window maybe, maybe he could fit through it although it would be quite a squeeze. Axel shook his head and glanced at his wrist. The chain there was the first thing that needed to go.

A half hour spent tinkering with the padlock taught him that as far as picking locks went, he was a hopeless incompetent. Sighing in annoyance, he checked the point where the chain met the wall and frowned. Axel could see that the chain had been soldered very firmly in place on a loop that was set very, very firmly into the wall. Still, maybe that could come loose. Bracing his feet Axel tried to pull the ring free and only ended up with hurting hands. Maybe it could be done but if so, it was going to take a while.

"Maybe I could dislocate my thumb?" He examined the chain on his wrist again and decided to save that as a last resort. It would hurt like hell and he wasn't even sure it would work. His hands were really pretty big compared to his wrists. "Damn." It looked like he was going to be here for a while. Axel shrugged and set to work on the loop until his hands felt raw and sore, then finally went to play some video games. He couldn't let Roxas see him pulling on that loop anyway and he'd likely be back soon for lunch.

But he would get out of this. Somehow, he would find a way.


	3. That Stings

"So tell me about yourself." Axel said as Roxas studied the chess board with a frown.

"That would help you ID me with the police." Roxas said absently as he made his move and Axel snorted.

"Oh please. It's not like you're going to let me leave." Axel wasn't sure how long the blonde was planning to keep him here but he didn't think Roxas would be giving him up easily. The smaller man smiled as Axel tried to figure out his next move. Roxas seemed to be a very good chess player so it was more than a little difficult.

"That's true. Well, I've lived here all my life." Roxas paused and considered for a moment as Axel made his move. "I went to the same high school as you, but you never noticed me."

"Eh?" That was a surprise. "We weren't in the same grade, were we?" He was sure he'd have noticed the blonde if they'd been sharing classes. Roxas shook his head.

"No, I'm two years younger. My father died when I was sixteen so I dropped out to take over the farm." Axel frowned and Roxas shrugged. "It's a decent living."

"That's a shame though. You have real talent." Roxas pictures of him were really beautiful. The blonde just looked a bit depressed and Axel decided to change the subject. "I really need some clothes."

"I know. I'll go raid your apartment sometime." Axel blinked at that but then remembered Roxas would have his keys and he had been stalking him long enough to know where the redhead lived. "Is there anything else you want while I'm there?"

"Uh…" Axel tried to picture his apartment in his mind and quickly gave up. "Not really. I mean, it's a mess in there you'd never find anything anyway. Oh, you could get the twinkies out of the pantry." Roxas looked surprised then laughed and for a brief moment, Axel was enchanted. It was the first time he'd heard a genuine laugh from the blonde and it sounded free and happy.

"I'll do that." Roxas smiled as he made a move. "Checkmate."

"Pttth." Axel muttered as he looked over the chess board and saw Roxas was right. "I walked right into that. Want to play tetris?"

"Sure." Roxas sat beside him on a beanbag chair and soon they had Doctor Mario playing. It was an old game but still quite a lot of fun.

Over the next several days things fell into a weird pattern. Roxas joined him for breakfast, worked all morning then joined him for lunch, went out to work again and then joined him for supper. After that the blonde insisted on playing games with him, reading a book together or even just talking before they had sex. Then Roxas left to go to his own bed in the upper part of the house. That left Axel feeling slightly miffed. He was good enough to screw but not to sleep with? Finally he had enough and grabbed the blonde's wrist after a session.

"Wait." He said sharply as Roxas looked at him, surprised. "Why don't you stay?" Although that made him wonder, why did he care about cuddling up with his kidnapper? He should be glad Roxas left every night, shouldn't he? He wasn't though. It definitely bothered him. The blonde hesitated then shook his head.

"I can't." Roxas sounded pained. "I have nightmares. I'd keep you up and maybe hurt you." Axel blinked, his grip on Roxas' wrist loosening. That explanation had not occurred to him.

"Oh. Okay." He reluctantly let go and Roxas hesitated a moment before bending down to kiss him. He was getting much better at loving kisses, Axel noticed. "Maybe we could try it sometime? Sleeping with someone might help." He offered but Roxas only shook his head.

"Maybe someday." Was all the blonde said before he gathered up his clothes and left the room. Axel sighed as he curled up on the bed. It felt very empty at the moment.

The next day Axel worked hard at loosening the ring on the wall. He thought he was making some progress although not much. It felt just a bit looser but it was a long, long way from coming off. Blowing on his hands he finally gave up and turned on the TV, glancing at the exercise equipment with a small smile. As long as he was working on that loop he would never need any of that.

"Axel?" There was a pained note in Roxas voice and Axel looked up with a blink. It was too early for lunch. "Could you help me with something?" The door to the basement opened and Axel frowned as Roxas walked down the stairs.

"Sure I – woah!" Axel stared as the blonde held a cloth to his hand. He could still see the blood soaking through the fabric. "What happened?" Roxas winced as Axel peeled away the cloth to take a look and hissed as he saw the long, deep cut on his thumb.

"Accident with some barbed wire." Roxas said shortly. "Can you stitch it up for me?" Axel blinked at that.

"What! I'm not a doctor." He immediately protested and Roxas sighed.

"I know but I can't afford an emergency room visit. My father would stitch me up before. You just have to heat the needles properly. I can show you." That made Axel wonder. Was this something that had happened often? "The sewing kit is over here and you'll need the lamp." There was a chemical lamp in the basement for when there was a power failure. That wasn't as uncommon as Roxas would have liked. "First, you need to wash your hands." Roxas explained what to do and soon Axel was holding the needle beside the flame, watching as it heated up. When it was very hot he set it down in a wet towel and waited for it to cool. When it was ready he threaded it with dark thread and began to carefully stitch up Roxas' wound. First he cleaned it out with water and peroxide and was amazed by how silent the blonde was. He showed no reaction except tight lips even when Axel began the stitching.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly as he kept working. Axel was certain he was hurting Roxas, hurting him a lot but the blonde just nodded. Finally it was done and he tied off the thread. Roxas took a deep breath and shook himself for a moment.

"Thank you." He said simply before he stood shakily. "I should go back to work –" Roxas blinked as Axel put a hand on his arm.

"With your thumb like that? Can't you take a day off?" Roxas hesitated then nodded slowly, meeting Axel's eyes.

"I've already fed the animals. I could… put off everything else until tomorrow." It might even be a good idea although he wouldn't be able to let everything slide for long. But even with a glove, the work would hurt his thumb more. Soon they were both sitting on the beanbag chairs and watching the Little Mermaid. Roxas movie collection was a little limited and leaned heavily towards Disney. Axel scratched his wrist as they watched. The chain was chafing him a bit.

"Hmm, Roxas? I was wondering." Roxas glanced over curiously. "What attracted you to me? My stunning good looks?" Axel ran a hand through his hair and grinned as Roxas smiled.

"Actually, no. It was how nice you were to me." That surprised Axel. He couldn't remember meeting Roxas at his school at all. "I'm sure you don't remember. The first time I saw you, I thought I wouldn't like you… you were so dramatic, so loud. Like the kids that always bothered me. But when I tripped and dropped all my notebooks during my first week there you helped me pick them up."

"Ah." Axel scoured his mind, trying to recall the incident but came up blank. "I really can't remember." He was almost disappointed. Roxas just nodded.

"It was years ago. After that I watched you, started drawing you. And I saw how nice you were in general. You were always willing to lend a hand to your friends and you were kind to Demyx even when he was being a fool and you could even handle Larxene when she was PMS'ing." Axel choked at that. How closely had Roxas been watching him? "You're everything I want."

"I have my flaws Roxas." Was all he could think to say. Roxas smiled briefly.

"Oh, I know. You drink too much, play too much and your grades are terrible." He shrugged. "But I dropped out so what does that matter?"

"I suppose it doesn't. But the whole keeping me here kind of does." Axel said dryly and Roxas just shrugged. They sat together in a comfortable silence for a while, watching Ursula doing her song as she convinced Ariel to sign the contract. Then Axel blinked as he felt something rubbing against his leg.

"Huh?" He glanced down to see a huge cat rubbing a blunt, heavy head against his leg. Roxas glanced over with a frown.

"Oh, that's Wobbler. He's not bothering you is he?" Roxas sounded concerned. "I know you've never had pets so I was trying to keep him out of here." Roxas wasn't sure how Axel felt about cats at all. Axel laughed and scratched the cat behind his ears. The cat, who looked as big as a Maine Coon, purred loudly at the attention.

"It's fine, I like cats. Why do you call him Wobbler? …Oh." The cat stumbled away and fell onto his side for a moment before pulling himself and shaking himself off before ambling away. Roxas smiled.

"He's had a balance problem since a cow kicked him. He doesn't seem to be affected otherwise though and I can't afford a visit to the vet." Axel frowned at that, glancing at Roxas thoughtfully. He hadn't really paid much attention but everything down here was rather old. He'd asked Roxas for some books to keep him occupied and from the looks of them, they'd come from used bookstores. Which was fine but it underscored that finances seemed to be a bit tight.

"Sounds like money's a problem." He said neutrally and Roxas' lips tightened a moment before he sighed.

"It is. My father ruined my credit before he died. I have six credit cards in my name with a balance of over fifty thousand." Axel winced at that. "It was fraud of course, but it's very hard for me to clear up. So I can't get any cards or any kind of credit. It can make things difficult when problems come up."

"I can see that." Axel shook his head. "That's horrible. Your dad was an asshole." Roxas laughed and Axel blinked at the edge to the sound.

"You have no idea… you know, this is boring. Want to watch Fox?" Axel made a theatrical gagging sound as Roxas grinned. "What, you don't like Fox?"

"No, I don't like Fox. They're nuttier than a bunch of Christmas fruit cakes." Axel retorted as Roxas laughed and flipped through the channels.

"Dad loved them so I'm not going to disagree. Hmm, how about Animal Planet?" Soon they were watching a story about how the SPCA was handling pets left abandoned in homes when people moved. "That's been happening a lot lately I've heard." Roxas said quietly as they watched the SPCA setting up traps to catch half-wild cats… and going into a house and finding a dog desperate for food and attention licking their hands. "It's sad."

"Very. That's why I've never had pets." Roxas gave him a curious look and Axel explained. "I'm too unstable. Had to move out of my last place really quickly after that party… hah. You probably know about that." Roxas nodded with a small smile.

"I do. You shouldn't have let Demyx put together that party at your place." Axel couldn't help but laugh. It was creepy how Roxas knew so much about him but he was quite right.

"Yeah, that was a dumbass thing to do." They watched as the SPCA investigated a puppy mill next. "Ptth. That sucks." The place was certainly a puppy mill, over eighty animals, but they were all up to date on their vet care and kept clean so there wasn't much that could be done. "It's legal I guess."

"I try to look on the bright side. It's hard on the dogs but if some people had their way, I'd lose Wobbler for letting him get kicked by a cow then not taking him to the vet." Roxas sighed. "I wish I could have afforded a vet visit but it just wasn't possible and I didn't even know he'd gotten out of the house."

"I guess." Axel privately thought Roxas had a point. A lot of pets didn't have ideal homes but that didn't mean they should be taken away. It wasn't something he'd ever given much thought to. "So what do you raise here exactly?" He'd been wondering about that.

"Goats and rabbits mostly. They're very good goats and they sell well for meat. The rabbits I sell for fur mostly and eat the meat myself." Roxas smiled at the look on Axel's face. "What, you don't like eating Peter Rabbit?"

"Gross! Marluxia had pet rabbits Roxas." And he'd rather liked them although not enough to get one himself. "Wait, that stew last night was rabbit?" He felt vaguely sick at the thought. Roxas nodded.

"Sorry Axel, it was. I also grow hay which I feed to the goats. I make a decent living although there's a lot of work and not much to spare." Roxas frowned then shrugged. "It will probably get better when the herd is bigger. Father tried to raise cattle but that wasn't working, which is why he opened six credit cards in my name. I slaughtered the last one last year."

"Hope you fed some of it to Wobbler." Roxas grinned at that, very amused. "Goat sells better than beef?" That seemed a bit odd to Axel. Roxas shook his head.

"It sells for more and domestic producers can't keep up with demand at the moment. A lot of it is shipped in from New Zealand. I sell out every year. Of course, it helps that I started with some good stock." Axel nodded and vaguely wished he could see the goats.

"The only animals I know anything about are horses. I took riding lessons when I was a kid, before my aunt died." Axel sighed for a moment as he thought about it. "I still miss her sometimes." His aunt had been a very strict, religious woman who hadn't been happy with a lot of his lifestyle choices. Yet he'd never doubted she loved him. Coming to bail him out of jail at 3AM in the morning after his first drunk and not killing him had certainly been an act of love.

"I wish I could say the same about my parents." There was something bitter and cold in Roxas voice and Axel glanced at him, surprised. The blonde was staring at the TV screen, his dark blue eyes vacant. Then suddenly he turned to Axel, grabbing his shirt and pulling him in for a rough kiss.

"Mrph!" Axel was surprised but relaxed into it, returning the bruising affection. This was how it always started with Roxas and he was finding he rather liked it. Or maybe he was just getting used to it. He pulled back a bit, panting and grinning. "It's that time already?" He said teasingly to the blonde. Roxas smiled, his eyes a bit too bright.

"It's that time." Axel decided to take the initiative for once and before Roxas could do more than squeak, he had the smaller boy pinned down on his beanbag chair, roughly biting and nipping at the blonde's throat. Roxas liked it rough, after all. But the strangled sound that came from the blonde wasn't arousal. Axel looked up, startled, and realized that Roxas was afraid. No, not just afraid… terrified. The blonde was staring away and breathing far too fast, locked in some private nightmare.

"Roxas?" Axel quickly cupped the smaller man's face, making him blink. "What's wrong? Are you ok – rph!" Roxas abruptly surged against him, slamming him onto his back. Axel found himself looking up into damp, furious blue eyes.

"Don't do that to me!" Roxas snarled and kissed him again, pressing him down this time. Axel went with it but couldn't help but wonder. Why did Roxas have a reaction like that to someone else dominating him? He decided not to worry about it as clothing came off. Until now Roxas had been willing to go with his favorite positions, which were either missionary or on his side, but tonight he seemed to want something different. Axel found himself lying on top of a beanbag chair, which rather neatly put him in the doggy position. He briefly thought about protesting then blinked as he felt warm breath in an unusual place.

"Roxas, what are you – ah!" Axel gasped as a hot tongue trailed over him, ghosting over his sack with feather light touches. It was highly arousing and became even moreso when Roxas moved up to his opening, probing and then darting his tongue inside. Axel groaned, closing his eyes in pleasure as he was his nerves began to sing with pleasure. It just felt so _good…_ Roxas kept going with the attention until it was driving him half-mad. He wanted more! "Roxas, come on, please!" He finally gasped out, not wanting to beg but not really able to stop it. Roxas lifted his head with a shaky laugh and Axel felt the tip of his cock at his entrance before the blonde began to slowly ease inside… then abruptly slammed his way in, making Axel yelp in almost-pain before the blonde brushed against his prostate.

Sex was as hard and fast as Roxas always seemed to like it, but there was an extra intensity and Axel was aching by the time it was done. The position didn't help and while his orgasm was intense, he felt so raw he almost felt like he was bleeding. They both paused to catch their breath after it was done and Roxas leaned close to whisper in his ear.

"Don't try to top me again." Axel nodded, reflecting to himself that in the time they'd spent just talking and playing he'd almost lost sight of a very important fact.

Roxas was crazy.


	4. Growing on You Like Foot Rot

Axel whistled to himself as he typed away on a laptop.

It was a very old laptop and Roxas said he'd traded a goat for it. That worked for him. Now when his hands were too sore to work on the loop anymore he could write his stories. That was an activity guaranteed to keep him occupied for a long, long time.

Axel had always enjoyed writing. He wrote about almost everything but tended to prefer heavy sci-fi with a homoerotic slant. He doubted he'd ever get published but that wasn't why he wrote anyway. He did it to amuse himself. And right now his own amusement was more important than ever.

Axel frowned and glanced up as thunder slowly rolled. The weather had been threatening to go bad all day and as he looked at the window he could see fat droplets finally falling. He hoped Roxas would have the sense to come in out of it. Axel couldn't be sure but it seemed like the blonde was driving himself far too hard trying to keep the farm going. Sure, keeping a herd of goats was a lot of work but Roxas was overdoing it. Of course, there were the hay fields and the rabbits. Maybe Roxas had just bitten off more than one person could expect to chew. Axel grimaced a bit at the thought. If that was the case he was going to kill himself trying. Roxas was not the kind of person to give up.

Axel glanced up again, concerned, as he realized the rain was really going at it. Surely Roxas had come inside? Then the door to the basement opened and he looked up with relief. Roxas was there, his clothing damp but not quite soaked and carrying a tray of food.

"Lunch." He said quietly and Axel nodded, closing his document and setting the laptop to the side. Lunch turned out to be chicken soup with crackers and Axel dug in with good cheer.

"Thanks. Got driven in by the rain?" It was a bit early for lunch. Roxas smiled as he glanced at the window.

"Yes. Fortunately the weather reports warned there would probably be thunderstorms today. The animals are all provided for." Roxas was pleased with the amount of work he'd gotten done today. The goats and rabbits would have nothing to complain of. "Axel, have you ever thought about death?" Roxas suddenly asked and Axel stopped chewing for a moment.

"Since you brought me here? Ye-ess…" That was a pretty disturbing question. Axel had been worried since the moment he was brought here that he'd be killed when Roxas got tired of him or someone started to get a bit too close. Roxas couldn't just let him go, he knew far too much. But Roxas shook his head impatiently.

"Not specifically, I mean in general. What comes after you die." Roxas clarified and Axel frowned, thinking about it.

"Sometimes but… see, the problem with thinking about that is that we can never know what comes after death. So all worrying about it does is give you ulcers for no good reason. Personally, I think either we're going to heaven and everything will be okay or there will be nothing when we die in which case we won't be worrying about it." He ate a spoonful of the chicken soup. "Although I try not to think about non-existance. That's creepy." Roxas frowned as he thought about that then sighed.

"You're probably right. It's probably better to just not think about it but I can't seem to help myself. I sometimes hope reincarnation exists but then I wonder what I did to deserve this life?" Roxas stared into his soup morosely. "Maybe I was a mass murderer in a previous incarnation."

"Well you're a kidnapper in this one, that has to have cost you a few brownie points." Axel observed, making Roxas blink then laugh.

"You always cheer me up." Roxas murmured, looking at him affectionately. "It's why I love you." Axel frowned at the blonde. He knew it was probably a stupid thing to fight with him about but he couldn't help but be offended by that.

"If you were in love with me you wouldn't be keeping me locked up here." He snapped back and Roxas eyes dropped down to the table. "If you loved me you would be thinking more about me than about yourself!" Axel felt that that was the crux of the matter. Roxas was keeping him here without any regard for his feelings or eventual fate.

"I know." Roxas was speaking so softly Axel had to strain to hear. "But if it's not love it's the closest thing I've ever felt. Watching you all those years… it kept me going… just worshipping you from afar. I – I knew you'd probably be going soon and I was trying to say goodbye when I saw you at the bar looking so sad. You were hardly ever sad and I wondered why and when I found out you were lonely too I just had to bring you here. You see?" Roxas looked up at him, big blue eyes wide and a bit wet. Axel stared into those eyes and felt his anger melting away.

"Not really." He said with a sigh. "But I guess it doesn't matter. You're really fucked up in the head Roxas." The blonde smiled then, a touch sadly.

"I know." Roxas ate some of his soup before changing the subject. "What have you been writing? Can I see?" He knew about Axel's stories although he'd never gotten the chance to look at them before and was quite curious. He knew that Axel's friends had liked to read his work but that was as close as he'd gotten to finding out anything about it.

"Uh? Sure." Axel doubted he'd like it but it wasn't like his work was a secret. He passed Roxas the laptop and the blonde looked over the story curiously as he ate. Then he almost choked as he reached one particular part of the story.

"He's yelling 'warp core breach imminent' during sex?!?" Axel coughed as Roxas kept reading. "Is this space smut?"

"Hey, sex sells." Axel said serenely as Roxas laughed. "Wait 'till you get to the alien sex part."

"I'm scared now. Is it all gay sex?" Roxas flipped through the rest of the story and laughed again. "It's easy to tell you're gay!" Axel knew what he meant. There were plenty of straight couples in the story but the main character definitely wasn't and all the detailed sex was very gay.

"Nah, I write straight sex too. It's just that the main character in that one is gay as gay can be." Axel said with good humor. "Although I'm not sure if alien tentacle sex counts as gay."

"Ewww. Damn, I might have to see about getting a printer so I can take this with me. I hate reading stories on a computer screen." It tended to give him a headache. Roxas passed back the laptop as he finished off his soup. "Want to play some Yahtzee?"

"Sure, why not?" Axel agreed as Roxas went to pull out the Yahtzee box. There was a very good assortment of board games in the basement and Roxas seemed to love them. Axel didn't mind playing them, they were all rather fun. Although he refused to play Monopoly anymore. With only two people playing that game could go on for over two hours and still not be done. There were only so many Boardwalks he could take. Soon they were both rolling the dice as Roxas kept the score.

Axel won handily the first time, but Roxas quickly staged a comeback and trounced him the next two. They went on to play Clue, then Risk before watching the TV a while. Finally they made love as the rain fell, making a pleasant counterpoint to their soft moans and gasps. When it was over and Roxas was stroking his hair, Axel reflected that if Roxas had only been his boyfriend in a normal relationship this would have been a great way to spend the day.

But he wasn't and it wasn't. He needed to be free.

* * *

"Yes." Axel muttered to himself as he felt the loop give a bit. It had been weeks, weeks he'd spent working on the loop until he just couldn't anymore and finally his dedication was bearing fruit. It felt like the loop could come out anytime now. He'd just have to keep at it and soon –

He heard the door to the basement opening and hurriedly went back to his laptop, typing in a few nonsense words as Roxas walked down the stairs. The blonde looked tired but his eyes were very bright and he was carrying a tray of food.

"I have a treat for supper." Axel looked over with a frown and blinked as he saw the steaming dishes. It smelled very familiar.

"Is that curry?" Curry had always been his favorite dish. Roxas smiled.

"Yes, goat curry." Axel was sure he knew where the meat had come from but he didn't care in the least. He was managing to eat the rabbit and he had no compunctions at all about goats. "Also some good wine to go with it."

"Wine with curry?" Axel was a bit dubious but Roxas nodded and poured him a glass of white wine. "You're sure about that?"

"Oh yes. Dry wine is what's recommended with curry." Roxas poured the rest of the wine into a decanter. "It'll help the wine to breath a bit." Axel thought nothing of it and missed Roxas' hand passing quickly over the spout of the decanter.

The meal went very pleasantly but Axel felt incredibly tired after he poured himself another glass of wine. He barely managed to finish it before he was passing out and Roxas helped him to his bed. Axel was vaguely aware of the blonde giving him a chaste, gentle kiss before he dropped off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning he woke up with another headache and a grim certainty about what had happened the previous day.

"You drugged me again you little asshole!" Axel snarled as Roxas walked down the steps into the basement. The blonde only laughed at his anger. "Why?"

"Look at the wall." Roxas suggested, amused, and Axel turned his head to see… A brand new loop, freshly drilled into the wall.

"You FUCKER! You knew what I was doing the whole time! Why didn't you say anything?" All that effort, wasted. Roxas smiled.

"It kept you busy." Axel took a deep, hitching breath and Roxas blinked as he saw… "Axel? Are you crying?" That wasn't the reaction he'd expected and Axel tried to jerk away as he felt Roxas' hands on his shoulders.

"Go away!" He wiped his eyes furiously. Roxas looked a bit bewildered and almost guilty. "You know, it's not fucking _funny_ to let someone get their hopes up then just smash them." Axel felt angry, despairing and more than a little sick. How was he supposed to get out of this now? "How… am I going to be down here for the rest of my life? Or are you going to get bored of me and shoot me? Fuck it Roxas!" Axel felt warm arms around him and almost pushed Roxas away before he realized the blonde was crying too.

"No Axel I'd never hurt you, never. I thought you would be mad at me not… not…" Roxas had been prepared for Axel's anger and had actually looked forward to it. He thought Axel looked so cute when he was mad. But not this, not tears and pain. "I'm sorry. Please, don't hate me." He whispered, face pressed against Axel's neck. Axel blinked as he felt warm tears against his skin. He ran a hand through soft gold hair and lifted Roxas face for a kiss before pressing the smaller boy down onto the bed. As Roxas began to panic Axel spoke in his ear.

"If you're sorry, let me love you the way I want to." Then he kissed Roxas' throat, but gently, like he would with his past lovers and for a moment Axel marveled at himself. What was he doing? Roxas stayed stiff, breathing too quickly but not trying to get away as Axel explored him gently, giving him feather light kisses and tender touches. Gradually the blonde seemed to relax although he sniffed occasionally. Axel glanced up and saw that Roxas was staring at him intently. The blonde smiled shakily and Axel smiled back before kissing him. He made it sweet and lingering, just the way it should be as he started to slowly slide off Roxas clothes. The blonde gasped then buried his face against Axel's neck and he could feel Roxas trembling. "Can you do this?" He was worried now that Roxas was going to break. And while he knew he shouldn't really care, Axel still didn't want that to happen.

"Yes." Roxas whispered but it sounded like he might start crying. Axel reached up to touch his face, concerned and Roxas managed a small smile. "I'm just used to it hurting. A lot." Axel blinked at that but decided not to ask.

"It won't hurt." He promised then set out to fulfill that promise. It took a lot of work and a lot of gentle kisses on Roxas face, neck and clavicles but he finally had the blonde relaxed and watching him with warm blue eyes. Roxas gasped and started to tense again as he reached behind to blonde to open him but more soothing kisses helped. The blonde gripped Axel's shoulders tightly, moaning as the redhead found his prostate and gently pressed that sensitive spot. "See? Feels good, doesn't it?" Axel whispered and Roxas took a shaky breath before nodding, still looking at him intently.

"S'alright." Roxas managed to say back, his voice soft and shaking. "Just… scared…" Axel could see the fear coming and going on the blonde's face and wondered what had happened in his past to traumatize him so much. It had to be something ugly. Pushing that aside, Axel spread the blonde's leg a bit more, positioning himself and carefully easing inside. He paused at every hint of pain on Roxas' face, stroking his length to keep the smaller boy hard. Finally he was completely sheathed in the blonde and Axel paused a moment, waiting for the pain to fade before he made a slow, smooth thrust into the tight heat beneath him. "_Ah!_" Roxas gasped harshly as Axel hit his pleasure spot again, then moaned as the redhead kissed him. "No… no…" Axel bit his lip as he realized Roxas was staring at the ceiling, his blue eyes wide and unfocused.

"Shhhh. It's me. Focus on me Roxas." Axel said softly and the blonde blinked, looking at him again. "I'm here, stay focused on me." Axel began to slowly take Roxas, as gently as he could. His own body had needs but he just couldn't traumatize the blonde. Roxas reached up to run his hands through red spikes, moaning softly as Axel kissed him gently again.

"Axel." He murmured softly and Axel groaned as he speeded up his thrusts, nuzzling the blonde's neck and gently kissing the soft, tender skin. "Axel, oh god…" Roxas whimpered as Axel stroked him with every thrust, pleasure tightening in his cock and stomach. Axel gasped as velvety walls suddenly tightened around him and couldn't help but pound into the blonde, several quick thrusts that made jolts of pleasure flow through them both. "Axel!" Axel caught Roxas lips and felt the vibration as the blonde cried out with his release, creamy liquid splattering them both. Axel followed a moment later with a low cry, filling Roxas with his seed. They lay together like that for a long moment, exhausted and tangled together before Roxas finally wiggled. "You're… heavy." He muttered and Axel laughed before pulling back and lying down beside him.

"Sorry." Axel murmured softly as he gently stroked sweaty blonde hair. Roxas settled beside him, content to just be held and Axel wondered for a moment. What was he doing? There had been nothing even vaguely rapish about what they'd just done. It had been consensual and… loving. Why? Unable to find an answer, Axel let himself doze off as he held his blonde lover close.

Roxas might be crazy, but he seemed to be growing on him.


	5. Spank Me Harder

A soft moan woke Axel early in the morning.

"Hm?" He murmured as he cuddled Roxas, then flinched as the blonde started to thrash. "Roxas?" Concerned, Axel tried to restrain the blond and ended up getting punched in the shoulder. "Roxas, you're dreaming! Wake up."

"Noooo…" The low, agonized sound make Axel feel like his heart was seizing. Roxas' eyes were vacant and staring at nothing and he gripped the blonde's face, trying to make Roxas look at him.

"It's me, it's Axel. Roxas, try to – ARGH!" Axel yelped in pain as the blonde sank his teeth into his fingers. Acting on instinct he shoved Roxas out of the bed and away from him. The blonde hit the floor with a hard thump and there was a sudden silence.

"…Axel?" Roxas sounded groggy and Axel felt relieved. "What… oh god, did I hurt you?" Awake and with his mind coming back into gear, Roxas knew what must have happened. He sat up and gripped the bed, pulling himself up as Axel looked at his hand.

"You might say." Axel muttered as he used the bedsheets in an attempt to staunch the blood. "You nailed me good." He was bleeding heavily. Roxas looked stricken and took his hand, hissing at the damage.

"Here, let's get that cleaned out." Roxas muttered as he pulled Axel out of bed to the bathroom. Axel gritted his teeth as the blonde cleaned out the wound with water and peroxide. "Bites can get infected…" Axel blinked. He hadn't thought of that.

"What would you do if it did?" He said neutrally and Roxas looked up.

"I have antibiotics here for the goats. I'd try those first and if it wasn't working I'd take you to the hospital." Roxas said in a low voice and Axel looked at him thoughtfully. If Roxas took him to the hospital there was no way the blonde would get him back. "I told you I wouldn't hurt you." Roxas looked down at the bloody hand. "Except by accident." He added and Axel laughed.

"I'm sure it will be fine." Soon his hand was bandaged up and sitting on the bed, just cuddling a bit. Axel stroked Roxas' hair and the smaller boy sighed, curling up beside him.

"I can't stay. I should go upstairs." He finally said and Axel caught his arm as he started to go.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said softly and Roxas swallowed convulsively before shaking his head. "You really need to Roxas." Axel was sure that Roxas needed to start working on whatever was hurting him. Roxas hesitated then shook his head again.

"I know but not right now." He didn't think he could take it right after one of his night terrors. "I need to sleep." Axel let go reluctantly.

"We'll talk about it soon." Maybe the only way he'd be able to get Roxas to let him go was to help the blonde with his problems. Maybe. Axel thought it was a faint hope but what did he have to loose? He curled up on the bed, watching Roxas gathering his clothing before leaving the room. It always made him feel a bit lonely when the other boy was gone. Axel sighed to himself before shaking his head. "I'm an idiot." How could he be so attracted to the guy who had kidnapped him? But he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel anything for Roxas. "Ptth." Deciding not to think about it, Axel closed his eyes and concentrated on just falling asleep.

The next day came too soon and Roxas seemed very tired and out of sorts as they ate breakfast. He bolted his food and left without saying much beyond grunts and Axel frowned after him worriedly. When the blonde came back for lunch he seemed even more tired, dark circles under his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Axel asked and Roxas blinked as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm fine." Roxas sighed at Axel's disbelieving look. "I couldn't get back to sleep." Axel winced. That meant Roxas had only had perhaps three hours of sleep.

"You already fed the animals. Couldn't you take a nap, let it go for a bit?" Axel had figured out Roxas routine a bit. He knew the blonde went and fed the animals first thing and rabbit cages often. Then he tended to other farm chores. Axel was a bit vague on that but knew it was a lot of work. Still, couldn't Roxas take some time off? Roxas rubbed his face again before smiling shakily.

"I – I suppose. You're a terrible influence." Roxas laughed as Axel looked puzzled. "My father would have beaten me for slacking off like this."

"Hey, sometimes things are good enough, you know?" Axel didn't see the value in trying to make everything perfect. Good enough was good enough. Roxas looked like he might disagree then nodded.

"You're probably right." Soon they were sitting in front of the TV again but this time Roxas was sitting against Axel, dozing off in the redhead's arms. Axel gently petted the blonde spikes and hoped Roxas wouldn't have another fit. He didn't and finally stirred, lifting his head to look at the show Axel was watching. It was a rerun of an old family comedy and Roxas' lips tightened for a moment. "I hated my father." He suddenly said and Axel looked down at him, startled.

"Hm?" He cuddled Roxas, hoping the smaller boy wouldn't suddenly decide to clam up.

"Even when I was small I hated him." Roxas voice was almost a whisper and his dark blue eyes were fixed on the screen, watching the characters moving and talking. Father, mother and two daughters. "He frightened me. Always said I was a mama's boy… then she died and left me alone with him. I hate her for that."

"I'm sure she didn't mean to leave you Roxas." Axel said gently then blinked as Roxas laughed, hard edged and bitter.

"But she did. She killed herself." Axel winced at that. He'd just put his feet right into it. Still…

"She still didn't mean to leave you. It was because she was fucked in the head Roxas, not because of anything you did. You must've been a cute little kid I bet." Axel regretted the words as Roxas smiled again, his eyes too bright. He hated it when Roxas got like this, it was always very creepy.

"Father thought so." Axel wasn't terribly surprised by that revelation. Really, what else could have screwed Roxas up this much? "He made me wear her dresses after she died…" Roxas almost whispered and then stiffened as Axel hugged him tightly.

"My psychotherapy technique sucks." Axel muttered, startling a real laugh out of Roxas. "Sorry. Just don't wear a dress around me, okay?" He knew making a joke out of it probably wasn't going to help Roxas but it did seem to cheer the blonde up. And he had no idea how to help him with this other than making him happier.

"No fear of that. I burned them after he died." Roxas snuggled his face against Axel's chest for a moment. "You're helping just by being you. I feel so good when I'm around you."

"I wish I could say the same but you still creep me out half the time. Well, maybe a quarter." Roxas laughed and Axel smiled. He knew that would amuse him. "It's going down over time, looks like."

"Oh good, maybe you'll actually be fond of me someday." Roxas stirred and sat up, suddenly realizing something. "Isn't it supper time?" He was feeling very hungry. He'd pretty much skipped lunch and Axel had eaten a bunch of twinkies.

"Yeah, it is, and I'm running out of twinkies." Axel poked an empty box sadly. It probably wasn't a very good lunch but it was actually fairly typical of his normal eating habits. Roxas nodded and stood, stretching a moment.

"I'll see what I can put together." Axel settled back and watched the TV. Soon he could smell something cooking and when Roxas came down a half hour later he was carrying two bowls of tuna and cheese casserole. "That was quick."

"Tuna Helper is very helpful." Roxas said completely deadpan and Axel laughed before digging into his share. "I wish I could cook better." Roxas said a little wistfully as they ate and Axel tilted his head.

"You're doing fine. I couldn't make a curry to save my life." He'd tried before and just managed to make a horrible mockery of spiciness. "And that pudding you made last week was delish. Make that again and I'll love you forever." Roxas smiled, blue eyes warm and relaxed. Axel vaguely wished the blonde could be like this all the time. Things would be so much nicer.

"Thank you. It's all pretty basic though." Roxas didn't think much of his own culinary skills, although… "I guess it does beat twinkies for breakfast." He said teasingly and admired Axel as he smiled, his green eyes glowing with amusement and pleasure. Then Axel winced as he accidentally put pressure on his bandaged hand and Roxas frowned. "Is your hand alright?" He was really worried about that. Human bites weren't as bad as cat ones for infection but they still weren't good. Axel smiled at him reassuringly.

"It's fine, just aching a little. Nothing to worry about." It actually felt hot but Axel didn't think that meant anything. It hadn't been very long. Roxas looked worried but nodded. They finished their meal in silence and then Axel reached for the board games. "Want to play Clue?" He didn't think he'd be able to handle a video game with his hand hurting like this but a board game would be perfect. Roxas nodded.

"Sure." They played the rest of the evening and started a new game went the night fell. A game Axel was a bit uncertain about.

"Uh, I've never done anything like this." Roxas' suggestion was making him very nervous. The blonde grinned at him, eyes bright with excitement.

"You haven't done much kinky stuff then." Axel blushed but nodded. His experience with sex had tended to be the normal stuff, although he had done a threesome once. Still, there had been nothing kinky about it except a lot of lube. "I know how to do this, I promise. And it does feel good." Roxas' eyes darkened and his voice went soft. "A lot of things feel good even when you don't want them to." Axel winced as he thought about how Roxas would have experience with this and remembered his comment about his mother's dresses. Yes, this would likely have gone well with that. And Roxas wanted to do it again… but this time on the giving rather than receiving end.

"Alright. But you better stop if I ask you to." Axel said firmly and Roxas nodded. They were already naked and Axel slipped gingerly over the blonde until Roxas gripped his waist, pulling him firmly over his lap. Axel couldn't stop a blush from rising. This was embarrassing! He wasn't a child – "Ah!" He gasped as Roxas hand hit his buttocks with a loud sound but… very little sting. It really was almost pleasant.

Roxas really did know what he was doing and Axel was surprised to find himself feeling genuinely aroused by the sensations. The smaller man would slap one side then the other, hitting a bit harder when Axel moaned in pleasure. He could feel Roxas' erection under him, hard and throbbing and knew the other boy was definitely getting into this. "Roxas, it's starting to hurt a bit." He finally said, gasping slightly. It still felt good but if it went on much longer Axel thought he was going to have trouble sitting tomorrow. "Just fuck me, please." He really wanted it now. Roxas smiled and kissed him, their tongues meeting in an intimate dance. Not as rough as Roxas' usual kisses but not as gentle as what Axel had done the other night, it was a pleasant medium.

"Your wish is my command." Roxas whispered in his ear before slipping him on his side. Axel was glad for that. Doggy might have been more natural after the spanking session but he thought it would sting. "You're so beautiful." Roxas nuzzled the back of his neck as he opened Axel up, making him gasp and roll his hips back.

"Handsome!" Axel managed to say and grinned at Roxas low laugh. "Get it… straight!" It was hard to talk with Roxas' fingers inside him and his hand in front, but somehow he managed. "Oh god… please…" He panted out as Roxas slowly pumped him up and down. Then he felt the blonde making his way inside, slowly parting him and tossed back his head with a moan. "Yes!"

"Spanking… makes you vocal…" Roxas said teasingly in his ear before thrusting in deeply. Axel gasped at the feeling of being filled and Roxas moaned, kissing him on the throat as he began a quick, smooth rhythm. Each time the blonde hit his prostate he stroked or squeezed him, making the world seem to fall away until there was nothing but the feeling of being filled, his throbbing cock and the feeling of the other boy behind him.

"Fuck!" Axel groaned as Roxas hit that spot again and again, feeling his release getting close. But it was too quick, he wanted it to be longer. "Unnh." He had to concentrate hard to hold back, but Roxas undid that a moment later with a quick spank. "AH!" Axel tensed and released sharply, clenching tightly around the blonde. He heard Roxas cry out in bliss as he released and they both lay together, exhausted and sated. Roxas finally stirred.

"I really have to go." He whispered in Axel's ear and the redhead nodded, eyes half-closed. He didn't want another bitten hand. "But I love you."

"Love you too Roxas." Axel said sleepily, without thinking and felt Roxas sudden stillness before the blonde lowered his face to kiss him.

"Thank you." Was the last thing he heard before he drifted off to sleep.


	6. Birthday Gifts

The next day dawned too early and Axel groaned as he stirred. He was never a morning person but Roxas always woke up bright and early so he'd gotten used to it. He sat up –

"Ow!" Spanking had a definite downside it seemed. Axel laughed at himself as he stood, glancing down over his shoulder to see his bottom was a bit red. "Oh well." His aunt had given him much, much worse as a child. He thought this would likely be gone by the end of the day. Picking up his laptop he began working on another chapter of space smut when he heard the door open and smelled something nice. "Eggs and bacon?" He called as Roxas walked down the stairs.

"And coffee." Roxas said with a smile as he entered the room carrying the tray. Axel was pleased to see that he looked far more rested than he had the previous day.

"Mmm coffee. What would we do without it?" Axel blew on his before adding some cream and a whole lot of sugar. Roxas preferred his black. They ate together in companionable silence for a while and when Axel was done, Roxas set down his mug.

"We should rewrap your hand." Axel nodded and went to the bathroom with Roxas. The blonde looked concerned as he unwrapped the injury and looked at his hand. "Looks puffy." Roxas didn't like how red the injury was. Axel shook his head.

"It's only been one day Roxas." It was hot though. Roxas chewed his lip for a moment.

"Let me get those antibiotics." They were meant for the goats but they would work just fine on a human. They wouldn't be as strong as most human medications though. Roxas pushed that out of his mind as he went to get them. They would help. Axel looked at the red pills with amusement.

"You need some blue ones, we could do the Matrix." Axel swallowed a few of the pills and washed them down as Roxas shook his head.

"No thanks." He could think of much better roleplays than that and smiled a bit at the thought. But that was for later… maybe a lot later. He didn't want to push Axel into anything too quickly. Roxas leaned forward for a quick kiss but Axel slid a hand through his hair, deepening and lengthening it. They finally separated and Roxas took a deep breath. "I have to get to work."

"I know." Axel smiled slowly and Roxas found himself captivated all over again. Axel was just so beautiful… handsome when he smiled. "Just hurry back."

"I always do." Axel looked surprised but Roxas knew that was the truth. Before he'd had the redhead here he'd spent a lot of his time playing with the goats and rabbits… well, when he wasn't stalking Axel. That had taken up a lot of his evenings. "Later."

"Later." Axel watched him go with a small smile then winced as his hand twinged. He hadn't wanted to mention it to Roxas but the bite was really getting pretty painful. He hoped the antibiotics helped.

They did. In a week his hand was good as new and Roxas had come up with a new and weird game for them to play. It didn't last very long though.

"Hey, this is supposed to be sexy! Stop laughing at me!" That only made Axel laugh harder and Roxas glared at him. "Jerk."

"You're dressed in a toga and I'm dressed as Cleopatra and this is _hilarious_." Axel managed to choke out as Roxas shook his head. "It's like a Halloween party gone horribly wrong!"

"Oi, you're terrible. I supposed I'd have to dress up as a tentacled space alien to get your horny." That thought sent Axel into another spasm of laughter before Roxas stripped off the toga and tugged off Axel's black wig. "Nevermind. Let's just do this the normal way." Axel grinned and caught his lips for a passionate kiss.

"Yeah, please. That sort of thing really isn't my style." He murmured, feeling Roxas melting against him. The blonde just felt so good under his hands… "Mmm, love you." He murmured in Roxas ear and was a bit amazed to find that it felt like the truth. Roxas might be nuttier than a fruitcake but Axel had a hard time imagining life without him. The smaller boy arched against his hands with a moan then whispered back.

"I love you too." Roxas swallowed for a moment. "Take me again. Gently, like last time." Axel was a little surprised by that but nodded.

"Sure." He said, voice filled with desire as he kissed Roxas again. They made love gently and tenderly that night and when it was finished Roxas snuggled up to him for a moment before speaking.

"Your birthday is at the end of the week, isn't it?" Roxas knew it was but he wasn't sure Axel was aware of how much time had passed. The redhead just nodded.

"Yep, it is." He actually had been well aware of the time since Roxas had gotten him the laptop. It had a built in date feature. "Going to bake me a cake?" Axel said hopefully and Roxas laughed.

"Among other things. You're going to like it. I have a special present for you." Axel tilted his head as he caught a strange look in Roxas eyes, something he couldn't quite understand. Fear? That didn't make much sense. Axel wasn't worried though. He knew Roxas was crazy but he also knew the blonde loved him.

"I'm sure it'll be great. Just make me a cake and I'm a happy man. With lots of sprinkles." Roxas laughed and gently poked him.

"I should just frost a Twinkie and decorate it in sprinkles, I bet you'd love that." He said sleepily before sighing and sitting up to leave. Axel watched him go, green eyes warm. He was getting used to Roxas leaving for the night, especially after the bite. That had been a graphic demonstration of the dangers of trying to sleep with the blonde.

The rest of the week seemed to pass quickly and Axel noticed Roxas getting tenser as his birthday got closer. What could be troubling him? That tension started to make Axel nervous and he remembered his worries about what might happen when he started to bore Roxas. But he knew the smaller man wasn't bored so that couldn't be it. Was Roxas just worried that he wouldn't like his birthday gift? That was probably it. It was a silly thing to worry about but Roxas didn't have much money to spend so maybe he'd made it himself.

"Happy birthday!" Roxas said with a smile as he carried a cake downstairs, but Axel couldn't miss the tension around his eyes and the falseness of the smile.

"It looks great!" Axel admired the cake for a moment. It was heavy chocolate with more chocolate icing and there were sprinkles all over it, turning it into a garish feast of color. "Thanks for the sprinkles, I love them so." Axel cut the cake and served Roxas a piece first, blinking as the blonde just picked at it. "Are you okay?" He was really worried about Roxas now.

"I'm fine." Roxas managed a smile but Axel frowned at him, unconvinced. "Really. Don't worry about it."

"Hm." Axel ate the cake and enjoyed it, but he finally had to say. "Roxas, don't be nervous. Whatever you give me I'm sure I'll like it, you don't have to spazz over a gift." Roxas dropped his gaze to the floor and Axel had to strain to hear him as he spoke.

"Yes I do." Axel was trying to figure that out when Roxas suddenly hugged him with a stifled sob. Axel blinked and patted the blonde on the back, trying to figure out what –

_Click. Clink._

"…Oh." Was all he could think to say as he looked down at his naked wrist. For the first time in over a month the chain was gone. Roxas was sobbing now and clinging tightly to his chest.

"Please don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me." He gasped out, eyes tightly closed and Axel swallowed as he felt the smaller boy trembling against him. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas and crooned soothingly in his ear as he stroked soft blonde spikes.

"I'm not going to leave you Roxas." He said comfortingly and found that it was the truth. "Shhh. It's okay. It's all okay." Roxas' sobs eased into hiccups then turned into little sniffles as Axel cradled the smaller boy to his chest.

"You mean it?" Roxas said, his voice small and fragile. Axel nodded and gently touched Roxas chin, lifting his face so their eyes met.

"Yeah, I mean it. I'm probably as nutty as you, but I'm not leaving you." Axel gently kissed away tears as Roxas finally smiled. It was shaky and watery but still a smile. "C'mon, why don't we celebrate my birthday by going to see the goats? I'm just dying to see the goats. I haven't seen goats since I was like six and went to a petting zoo." Roxas laughed and kissed him firmly.

"I love you. Sure, let's go see the goats." Roxas took his hand and Axel gave him a squeeze as they left the basement. He glanced around curiously at the rest of the house and immediately made a face.

"Roxas, most of this place is pretty nice." And it was, in a Texas décor sort of way. There was a cow's skull on one wall and a few earthenware vases with daisies in them. However… "But what is that light up moose head doing on the wall?" Roxas looked a little pained.

"It's a fixture. If I take it out there will be a lot of wires exposed and I don't really have the money to fix it right now." Axel looked at the moose head again and shook his head with a grin.

"What a thing! I bet you couldn't find that anywhere these days. Hey, do you think we could market it on eBay as a valuable antique?" Roxas blinked at the idea and shook his head with a smile.

"I doubt it." The rest of the house was furnished very simply, with old wooden furniture and a rather comfortable looking sofa and recliner. Axel thought he could definitely get used to this. His own apartment had been furnished with thrift store chic. Unfortunately, he hadn't been trying to be cutting edge, he'd just purchased everything from the thrift store. They went outside and Axel glanced around curiously.

"Heh. This is exactly the way I pictured it." He said and Roxas glanced at him curiously. "Well kept." It was a typical farm but much neater than most. Roxas clearly put a lot of work into keeping everything neat and tidy, just like he'd expected. The goats were grazing in the fields and nibbling from a big bale of hay. Roxas took him to them, opening the gate.

"They're very tame." He said as they stepped inside. "They really like to be handled. I try to spend some time with them every day. The same with the rabbits." The goats seemed mostly indifferent until they approached. Then a few friendly ones asked for scratches and Axel smiled as he got to handle them. "I have to clean their water troughs and put out more water every day, sometimes twice a day if they've been dropping food in it or the neighbors collies get onto the property." Axel grinned at the aggrieved tone in Roxas voice. "Those stupid things think it's a swimming pool."

"Ouch!" Axel could see how that would be a lot of work, especially with dog hair fouling things up. "These things are cute Roxy. If I'm going to be staying, maybe I can help you with all this." Although he could get a job in the city but Axel wasn't too keen on that. With his grades he'd probably be working at Wal-Mart or the 7-11 unless he could find another job in construction. And with the economic downturn that wasn't very likely. "How many goats do you have?" It looked like a lot to him.

"Over fifty. There was a good kid crop this year." Roxas finished scratching the goats and went to check on the water as Axel followed. "I'm slowly building up the herd, keeping the best ones for breeding and buying new stock when I can. I'm hoping to reach two hundred eventually."

"That's a lot of goats!" Axel was rather impressed. "Do you milk them or anything? Make cheese?" Roxas shook his head.

"I never had the time. But maybe with the two of us we could." Even if the cheese didn't sell they could eat it themselves and every little bit helped. Axel looked at the goats thoughtfully.

"I'll have to look it up online." He wasn't sure exactly how to milk goats or make cheese. Although… "If goats are anything like horses this'll be interesting." He anticipated he'd be getting kicked a few times as he tried to figure it out. At least goats weren't big enough to do any lasting damage. Roxas smiled.

"Like you know anything about horses." Axel shrugged with a grin. Roxas was right, all he knew about horses was what he'd learned from a few years of lessons as a child. "Here's the rabbits." Axel tilted his head as he saw the white rabbits in their cages. "I thought about putting them together as a herd but that can be a problem if it lets disease spread." Roxas opened a cage and gently lifted out a small bunny. "Want to hold her?"

"Sure." Axel carefully took the soft little rabbit, who seemed to enjoy the attention. "I hope we're not going to eat her." She seemed very sweet. Roxas shook his head.

"I'm going to be breeding her when she's old enough. She's a good little rabbit." Axel lifted up the bunny to look at her a bit more.

"A reprieve! You're not dinner tonight Missus Bun." He said solemnly to the rabbit and Roxas laughed before taking her back and putting her back into her cage. "You make money selling them?" Axel vaguely recalled reading that very few rabbit breeding operations made much money. Roxas shook his head.

"Just enough from the pelts to cover the expenses. It saves me money on food though." Axel nodded. That made sense although he still wasn't quite used to the thought of eating something this cute. "So what do you think?" Roxas asked shyly as they walked back to the house and Axel put an arm around his shoulders with a smile.

"I think I've never lived on a farm in my life. But I'm definitely willing to have a go at it." He thought he might even like it. He'd always liked animals. And Roxas smile was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day.

"I'm glad." Roxas said simply before hugging him for a moment. Axel laughed and hugged him back before thinking of something.

"Hey, we have an entire cake full of sprinkles downstairs. Let's go finish it!" Nothing could be worse than wasting sprinkles. Roxas smiled and gave him a kiss as they went back inside and Axel found that he was happier than he had been since… since before school ended and all his friends had gone their separate ways.

It was nice to be free and to have a home.


	7. Alas, Poor Bunny

_hay Axel! wear u been dud?_

Axel sighed at the instant messenger program. The horrible spelling told him who it was, although the monicker WaterBaby was also a clue. He considered several replies then grinned and began to type.

_Chained up in cute blonde's basement and being his bitch. You?_

_oh hahaha! u wish. uni s gong grt! had a hug prty wit lots of prty grils._

_Like you notice chicks. How's everyone else doing?_

Axel was a little dismayed to find out that his friends hadn't missed him at all except in a general "wonder how Axel's doing" sort of way. He wasn't really surprised though. He'd never owned a cell and had always updated his Facebook and MySpace sporadically. It was hard for his old friends to know what he was doing and they were all busy with school. The only one who had really noticed his disappearance was his landlord and his response had been to trash all of his stuff and move someone else into the apartment. Fortunately there hadn't been much there he wanted anyway.

Slowly but surely he re-contacted all his friends, told them the truth and was laughed at. No one believed his story about a cute blonde and Axel grinned as he shut down the computer and stood. He was just on it while Roxas made supper. He's spent all day helping his lover with the farm chores and it had been exhausting but worthwhile. They'd gotten an old fence mended so there would be more room for the goats.

"Pot roast?" Axel said appreciatively as Roxas brought out the food. "With potatoes and carrots, excellent!" Roxas smiled happily as he cut the roast. It was rare but not quite bloody and Axel dug in with good appetite. "So yeah, my friends didn't even notice I was gone, the fuckers." Roxas laughed before eating some of his roast.

"So what did you tell them?" He asked, amused and Axel smiled.

"Oh, the truth." Roxas looked momentarily horrified before Axel explained. "They all laughed and told me my imagination has gotten away from me and I should go back to space porn."

"Oh!" Roxas relaxed and smiled. "I see. You had me worried for a moment there. I would like to meet your friends someday." Axel thought about it and shrugged.

"Not too likely unless they move back, but they might." The city wasn't huge and only had a community college, so most of his friends had gone to the big city for their schooling. "There's more oil projects starting I hear." That might entice some of them back if things started to pick up a little. Roxas nodded.

"I hope so." Roxas hesitated a moment, rolling a carrot along his plate. "Axel, we need to talk about money." Axel nodded absently.

"Yep, we do." Roxas looked surprised and Axel grinned, flipping something on the table. "I have a credit card ya know. It's got a five thousand dollar limit although there's a thousand dollars of debt on it right now. You could use that if any disasters hit the farm." That would give Roxas more flexibility too. The blonde's mouth dropped open but then he shook his head.

"That's not what I meant although it will really help." Right now Roxas had to plan as if those disasters might happen and keep a good amount of money socked away to deal with them. And he was touched by Axel's offer. "I meant, what are you going to be paid?"

"Huh?" Axel was a bit taken aback. "I… uh, can you afford to pay me anything?" Roxas looked down and shook his head.

"Not much." He admitted softly. "But we have to work it out. Money's important." Axel frowned, about to disagree when Roxas continued. "My parents would fight about money all the time before mom died. We really need to figure it out." The last thing Roxas wanted was for that to happen to them. Just the thought made him feel sick. And it could happen, Axel was very impulsive where Roxas was the type to save every penny.

"Oh. Okay, you have a point." Axel hadn't really thought about it but Roxas had a point. "What's your idea then?"

"Well." Roxas took a deep drink of his water before continuing. "I was thinking. I can't pay you much but we could make this a real partnership. Your credit card and labor, my farm and labor. You could have a five percent interest in the farm immediately. Five years in, that could go up to twenty-five percent. Ten years in it could be fifty percent. That way once we – we know this is forever we'll have joint ownership. And we'll need to make out wills in favor of each other."

"Wills?" Axel wasn't enchanted by the idea. He'd always hated the idea of making a will, although it was probably just silly superstition. But it felt like preparing for death might make it happen, somehow.

"We have to Axel." Roxas said patiently. "If you died after ten years half the farm would go to your nearest relative. Who would that be?" Axel had to really think about that.

"Uh, cousin Josh I guess. Gah, I see what you mean." His cousin would have no use at all for a farm and would certainly force Roxas to sell it. "You've really thought about this." Axel was a bit amazed. He wasn't nearly as good at planning as Roxas. "So hey, do I get an allowance?" He grinned at that and Roxas laughed.

"Fifty dollars a month sound good?" That would give Axel a little spending money to be silly with but wouldn't break the bank. Axel nodded cheerfully.

"Sounds great, but I'll probably be using it to take you out to the movies. Well, and buy twinkies and sprinkles." Roxas blinked then smiled.

"Speaking of that…" Roxas brought out a plate with a silly porcelain cover in the shape of a jolly cow and took it off with a flourish. "Dessert!" Axel choked at the sight of an iced twinkie covered in sprinkles then laughed.

"Oh Roxas, you shouldn't have!" Axel dug in with good cheer and soon the little pastry was a memory. Roxas finished his off easy as well and then they decided to watch an action movie full of explosions.

It was a good way to start the week.

* * *

A week or so later.

"Step one, prepare the grain and milk bucket. Done. Step two, catch the goat. Ya think?" Axel rolled his eyes at the obvious instructions then returned to his piece of paper. It was from the Internet and he had no idea if it was reliable or not but it looked pretty good. "Separate the goat… yeah, yeah. Lead the goat to the milking stand. Okay." Axel gently tugged the goat, a very amiable specimen over to the milking stand. "Now… wait, what the fuck am I doing?" Axel sighed in pure disgust at himself and led the goat back to the herd. "The first step on this should be selecting a FEMALE goat." Muttering to himself he let the poor billy goat back into the herd. "How in hell did I miss the horns?" Picking out a female this time he led her over to the milking stand. "Now wipe down the udder with a sterilized cloth and warm water." Axel carefully attended to that as the goat munched on her grain. "Now…" Axel consulted his paper again before attempting to milk her. "Hmm."

He and Roxas had been building this milking stand off and on all week so this was his first time at actually using it. It quickly became obvious that milking a goat wasn't that easy. The internet had all kinds of helpful advice and Axel referred to the page often before he finally had things going properly. The goat kicked over the bucket once when he was too rough but after he figured things out she stood calmly. She was one of the older nannies Roxas had gotten from other breeders and Axel suspected she'd been milked before.

He couldn't keep it up long though and finally had to stop when his hands were sore and feeling bruised. He could tell the nanny goat still had milk but Axel just couldn't keep going. He consulted the paper one last time before using an iodine solution on the teats. Roxas had already had that handy for treating the goats.

"Okay, done." Axel looked critically at his labors, a half bucket of milk and shook his head. "Hopefully I'll get better at this." But then, learning from the internet probably wasn't the best way to go about it. Fortunately the pictures were quite detailed. And the article did say that milking a goat was harder than milking a cow and would require practice to toughen his hands and arms.

It was still enough milk to begin his new project, which was making raw milk cheese. Axel had found a good recipe for that online. He waved to Roxas as carried the bucket back to the house and the blonde waved back with a smile. He was cleaning rabbit cages as Axel tried out his little experiment.

It took several hours and a lot of work but Axel followed the recipe carefully and finally tied a towel around the cheese before putting a plate on top and then a very heavy cinderblock to press it. He had no idea how this was going to turn out but it was definitely worth a try. The unused whey he put in the fridge for tomorrow. He had a recipe for Ricotta as well that used whey but he just didn't feel up to it at the moment. He was washing dishes when Roxas came in.

"It worked?" Roxas looked at the jury-rigged cheese press curiously and tried to peek inside. Axel grinned tiredly.

"I think so although we won't know until tomorrow. It needs to press for twelve to twenty-four hours." Roxas grabbed a towel and started drying dishes. "Thanks."

"It's nothing. I wonder if we could sell that." Roxas looked at the cheese thoughtfully but Axel shook his head. "Hm?"

"Can't. Raw milk cheese isn't legal to sell unless it's at least low heat pasteurized or aged 60 days. Although there are some 'share' arrangements people do… but it's way too much effort for us. I think we should just eat it ourselves." No one could stop them from eating their own raw cheese. Roxas looked thoughtful.

"That would definitely save us money." Cheese was expensive and saving money on the food bill was almost as good as making money selling. "Axel?" Axel glanced at the blonde as he dried a plate. "I – I hope you don't mind living on a farm." Roxas was still worried about that. Axel had always lived in the city. The redhead smiled and shook his head.

"It sure as heck beats the 7-11 or Subway. I actually kinda like it." Axel was a bit surprised to find out how much that was true. But he enjoyed working with animals and his jobs with construction had always been hard, outdoor work. It was similar and he'd liked those jobs too. "Besides, it feels nice to be building towards something." That wasn't a feeling he could get at 7-11 or Wal-Mart. Here, he knew that his efforts mattered and the success of the farm was a very tangible thing. "Oh yeah, Demyx is asking if he can stay for us for a week while he comes to visit his parents."

"Stay with us? Oh, you mean stay with you. Does he know about the farm?" Roxas had a lot of trouble imagining Demyx on a farm. He thought the mullet-haired boy's head might explode at the thought of slaughtering and eating bunny rabbits. Axel grinned wickedly as he finished the dishes and started letting the water out. Roxas went to the fridge and pulled out some leftover pot roast. It was about time for lunch.

"I TOLD him but I don't think he believes me. Can we? He offered to pay a hundred dollars and buy some groceries." That wasn't much but since the rabbit meat and the cheese were basically free they might actually come out ahead. Roxas looked thoughtful then smiled, passing Axel a plate of roast. He grabbed a bun out of the breadbox before taking a seat at the kitchen table and Roxas joined him.

"I said I'd like to meet your friends. Sure, why not?" Axel privately thought that Demyx would give Roxas plenty of reasons why not, but it would be fun to watch. Axel was a city dweller but he was accustomed to hard work and dirt. If he were a dog, he'd be a friendly stray. Demyx would be a pampered Pomeranian. Axel blinked as he tried to follow that thought and decide what type of dog Roxas would be. A slightly standoffish farm mongrel maybe. "What are you thinking?" Roxas had noticed that Axel's attention had wandered off as they were eating.

"Huh?" Axel blinked and focused. "I was just trying to imagine what kind of dog you'd be." Roxas looked a little lost at that and Axel smiled. "I think Marluxia would be an afghan hound." Roxas laughed at the thought.

"And Larxene would be a pit bull!" Axel grinned but didn't disagree. She certainly had a tenacious streak to her personality. "I hope I don't meet her actually. She scared me a bit." Roxas admitted.

"Her bark is worse than her bite. But then, she's never bitten me." Axel took his bowl to the sink for a quick rinse as Roxas finished his food. "He'll be coming by in a couple weeks then. What are we doing next?" He was sure there was something to do and Roxas didn't disappoint.

"We need to turn over the compost heap and spread the rabbit pellets over the vegetable gardens." With Axel here to help Roxas had decided to try to grow his own vegetables too. It would be a lot of work to can them for the winter and they'd been planted late so he doubted he'd get a great crop this year, but it was definitively worth a try. Axel groaned… he'd didn't like the compost heap… but nodded willingly.

He would do whatever it took to make the farm a success.

* * *

"Ohmigod it really is a farm!" Demyx was staring open-mouthed and Axel grinned at the look on his face. Roxas looked somewhere between amused and irritated.

"You had to drive thirty minutes out of town to get here. Of course it's a farm you silly. Come on, get your stuff inside, you'll be sleeping in the basement." Now that he was up on the main floor Axel was sleeping in the room that had once been Roxas' fathers. Roxas slept in his childhood room and that was where they made love. The other room had too many bad memories for him. Demyx seemed vaguely horrified as they showed him around the farm but then he squeed as he saw the rabbits. Axel grinned as he cooed over the rabbits in their cages.

"Do you want to tell him or should I?" Axel asked Roxas, highly entertained. Roxas shook his head.

"You can." Roxas didn't want to get off on the wrong foot with Demyx that quickly. Axel went to one particular cage and lifted out a large bunny.

"Hey Demyx!" Axel grinned as he offered the rabbit to the surprised musician. "Meet dinner. Dinner, meet the man who will soon be eating you." Demyx stared at the bunny and it twitched its nose at him.

"Noooo!" Roxas winced as Demyx snatched the rabbit from Axel and cuddled it. The rabbits eyes went wide as saucers as it froze for just a moment. "Axel you can- AHHH!" Demyx screamed as the rabbit tried to go for the ground and ended up digging its claws into him. Axel hesitated as he tried to figure out what to do but Roxas darted forward.

_Crunch._ Roxas lifted the dead rabbit and shook his head as Demyx looked traumatized. His hands were badly scratched but that wasn't the cause of his concern.

"You killed it!" Demyx started to sob and Axel winced, running a hand over his face. This wasn't very funny now with Demyx hurt and the bunny dead, even though they had been planning to eat it.

"Demyx, let me look at your hands." Axel took them in his and tried to examine the cuts but Demyx jerked away. "Come on Demy. I wasn't kidding when I said we were going to eat it. This is a farm, you grow things to eat them. Come on, let me look at your hands." Demyx's sobs tapered off into sniffles and he let Axel look at his hands. "In the future, so you know, a bunny needs to trust you before you can pick it up like that. And you can't just grab them away from someone else like that. They're scared of heights." Demyx sniffled and nodded as Axel wiped away the blood. "It's not too bad. Just scrapes really, you'll be fine." Axel privately thought it would have been much worse if Roxas hadn't intervened so quickly. But Demyx probably wasn't in the mood to hear that.

"D-Do we have to eat it?" Demyx said in a small voice and Axel hesitated before Roxas spoke.

"Not tonight. We can save him for lunch tomorrow." Roxas was pretty sure Demyx would be visiting his parents then. The musician brightened and he was sure he was right. "We can use some of Axel's cheese to make curry tonight." They'd discovered that Axel's cheese recipe created a final product that was remarkably similar to Paneer. Not surprising perhaps since it was a very simple recipe. "Or maybe a cheese casserole." That would be easier to do than curry.

"That would be great." Demyx was pepping up again although he couldn't help but glance at the rabbit occasionally. Roxas was holding it by the ears. Axel's comments about this being a farm had reached him though and while he really, really didn't want to eat the bunny he was over his initial reaction. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out." He felt a bit embarrassed now. "I know where meat comes from, really. They're just so… so cute."

"Heh, I felt the same way at first." Axel put an arm around his shoulders with a grin and steered him back to the house. "It's my fault for trying to tease you." Roxas followed with a small smile as the two friends began to talk.

It was nice to meet one of Axel's friends.


	8. Sweaty and Stinky

Author's Note: All this fluffiness is leading up to something more dramatic next chapter. XD Anywho, enjoy! And Luna, I don't actually know a thing about farming. Wikipedia however knows a lot. Mweheehee.

"Axel? Can we talk?"

"Hmm? Sure." Axel wiped off his forehead as he turned to look at Demyx. He was weeding the garden and it was a hot day. The straw hat he was wearing looked ridiculous but it kept the sun off. Demyx smiled at the sight but wasn't about to be diverted from his concerns.

"Are you sure about this?" Axel blinked at him and Demyx waved. "I mean, all of this. And Roxas. He's kind of creepy Axel."

"If he hadn't killed the rabbit when he did you would probably have gotten a lot more torn up Demyx." Axel said, a bit irritated. It wasn't fair to hold that against Roxas. It had been more his fault than anyone's. Demyx shook his head.

"That's not what I mean. I mean, he looks at you so intensely. It's weird. And I remember him, he was that kid in school who was _watching_ you all the time." Demyx seemed really worried. Axel gave him a surprised look. "He stopped so I didn't say anything but it was weird." That had to have been when Roxas dropped out of school. Axel decided not to mention that he hadn't stopped exactly, he'd just started following him at other times. That wasn't something Demyx needed to know.

"Um." Axel thought for a moment. Demyx was irritating him but he was honest enough with himself to realize that was because the musician's concerns were really very accurate. More than he knew actually. "Look, Demyx, I know he had problems. His parents were turds. The poor guy had six credit cards in his name when he was thirteen. As soon as we're making enough extra money he's going to get some therapy, okay? But I'm sure he's the guy for me." Axel glanced over the farm with a smile. "I've finally got a purpose in life." Demyx looked dubious at that and Axel grinned. "What, you don't think I'll make a good farmer?"

"I guess…" Demyx looked over the garden and laughed. "Actually, I don't know what it's like to live on a farm at all! Tell me about it?"

"Only if you help me weed you useless feeb. There's gloves in the shed." Axel pointed towards it and waited until Demyx got some and started helping him with the plants. "Hey! That's not a weed it's lettuce. Yes, that's a weed. Okay. The goats are pretty awesome…" Axel started telling Demyx all about his time on the farm. Roxas walked up from his work with the goats and just watched them for a while before walking over.

"Need any help?" He asked in his soft voice and Axel looked up with a grin.

"Nah, we're almost done. But if you could throw that lot in the composter I'd be grateful." Roxas nodded with a smile and took the discarded weeds to the compost heap. "Thanks! Hey, what's for lunch?"

"Cheese sandwiches and pickles." Roxas had decided not to do anything fancy today. Demyx looked relieved that there was no mention of rabbit. They quickly finished up in the garden, washed their hands and tucked into a simple but filling meal.

"So, mph, I was wondering." Axel said after he swallowed. "Would you like to come with us to the bar or something for one night Dem? We don't have a lot of cash but Roxy thinks we can swing it." He'd talked it over with Roxas before making the offer. Demyx shook his head.

"I have a better idea!" He said with a grin. "Mom and dad are taking me out to supper at a really fancy restaurant for my birthday. I bet I can talk them into taking the two of you too!" Axel looked dubious and Roxas looked vaguely intimidated by the thought. They both knew that Demyx came from a wealthy family.

"How fancy is fancy? Because my best clothes are kinda iffy and Roxas is worse." Axel at least had one set of slacks and a dress shirt for when he applied for jobs. Roxas wouldn't have that. Demyx laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll be with us! No one would ever kick mom and dad out and dad works with farmers all the time. Just be clean and it should be fine." Axel thought about it and glanced at Roxas. The blonde looked uncertain but nodded.

"I've never been to any restaurant fancier than Perkins. I'd like to go." Roxas said shyly and Demyx looked pleased. Axel shrugged.

"I'm down then. So when is this?" They quickly finalized the dates and Axel thought of something. "Hey Roxas? Is there anything urgent that needs to be done this afternoon?"

"Not really. Why?" Roxas had checked the hay and it definitely wasn't ready for harvest and he'd fed the goats and rabbits. All the cages were looking good so there really wasn't that much left to do. Axel frowned.

"Well, I was thinking that we really need to get on top of your identity theft problem." Roxas winced and hunched his shoulders a bit. Axel knew why. He'd talked to the blonde about it and knew Roxas was dragging his heels about contacting all the relevant authorities because he'd already talked to them more than once and gotten nowhere. "Sorry Roxy but we need to. Actually, I was thinking though. Maybe I should talk to them for you." Roxas blinked at him and Axel grinned. "I'm pretty good at getting people to do stuff for me. They'll need to speak to you first to verify its okay though so you'll need to be here."

"Oh." Roxas looked relieved at the thought. "Could you? I'm really not that good with people." That wasn't his strong point and he'd hit a lot of brick walls. Axel nodded with good cheer. Demyx sighed and pushed away from the table.

"Well, good luck with that guys. I need to go visit my sister." He sounded less than enthusiastic and Axel knew why. Demyx's parents were pretty cool with his lifestyle choices although they didn't want any of the gory details. His sister wasn't and she was the reason he'd had to come visit. She was having a baby and it was expected.

"Good luck with that." Demyx nodded and left. Axel heard the car starting and sighed. Sometimes he really envied Demyx. His aunt had been living on disability and a small pension and his parents had been working folks, before they died. No one had been able to buy him a car for his eighteenth birthday. Of course, with his crappy grades and the parties he went to Axel didn't think his aunt would have bought him a car if she'd been a millionaire. "So hey, what are those companies you've been dealing with?"

Axel's calls to the credit companies and the police were more fruitful than Roxas' attempts had been and Axel was sure he knew why. The credit card companies were used to dealing with deadbeats and Roxas hadn't been good at convincing them he wasn't just another person trying to game the system. Axel was more charming and better able to convince them that Roxas was an innocent victim. However, it was still an unholy mess. But they got some useful information.

"Changing your SIN number? I didn't even know we could do that." A helpful lady at one of the credit card companies had suggested that drastic step. Axel was researching it now online. He suddenly noticed how sad Roxas looked. "Roxas? What's wrong?" He thought things had gone fairly well. Roxas blinked then smiled weakly.

"Nothing. It's just you're… so good with people." Roxas couldn't help but feel depressed. He just wasn't as good with people as Axel. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into concerned green eyes.

"Hey, we all have our strong points and our weak spots. Don't worry about it right?" Axel said softly, running a hand through golden spikes. Roxas managed a smile that was more genuine. "You're a lot better with numbers than I am. This place would be a mess if I had to take care of the accounts." Roxas laughed at that. He'd made certain Axel understood the books, in case something happened to him, but for the long term Axel was right. Axel spent money too freely and was bad about paperwork.

"You're right." Roxas hugged the redhead for a moment. "You know, it's nice, the way we compliment each other." They each had strengths where the other was lacking. It made them a good team but it would be an easy thing to resent. Roxas made a mental vow to not let it bother him when Axel got along better with people than he did. Axel patted his back before going back to the computer.

"Okay. Now to change your SIN we need to – " Roxas smiled as they got down to the brass tacks of sorting out his situation.

It was nice to have a plan.

* * *

"I'm looking snazzy hey?" Axel admired himself in the mirror with a grin as Roxas looked like he wanted to disagree. "It's the jacket that makes it."

"Actually, I think the jacket is what ruins your Wal-Mart greeter impression." Axel winced but didn't disagree. With his navy slacks and plain dress shirt he did have a wage slave vibe going on. The jacket was black leather, though, and rather nice.

"Yeah, you're doing better." That was a bit of a surprise but it had turned out Roxas had some nice clothes stored away from when his father had insisted they go to church functions. Axel thought that was hilarious considering what his father had been like but Roxas said it had been a purely social thing. Right now he was wearing a light brown dress shirt with ivory buttons and some rather nice pants with a leather belt. "All you need to really set that off would be a necklace." A simple chain or maybe a pendant and Roxas would be presentable anywhere.

"Maybe you could get me one sometime." Roxas said absently as he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't notice Axel's sudden thoughtful look.

"Guys, come on!" There was a call from the front. "We're going to be late!" Axel grinned and started out.

"Keep your tights on Demy! We're ready." Demyx smiled as they stepped out. They all piled into Demyx's car, a dark blue Pontiac Vibe. Not an expensive car but a good one and it could comfortably seat all of them. Axel patted it fondly, remembering plenty of times Demyx had driven all his friends to various parties. The cheerful blonde hadn't minded being the designated driver. "So what place are we doing to anyway?"

"Mark's! You know, the restaurant in the renovated church?" Axel was vaguely impressed as Demyx started the car. He'd heard about that place but never seen it. Roxas looked interested.

"A renovated church? Really?" Roxas thought that might be cool. Demyx nodded with a grin.

"You'll love it." Axel smiled as Roxas looked a little dubious. But they were both willing to try and Roxas blinked as they walked inside.

"You weren't kidding about it being a renovated church." The ceilings were shaped in the classical church fashion and it was all warm wood and gentle lighting. The space felt very warm and Roxas immediately liked it. "This is nice." They were shown to a table in the back with a plump older couple already sitting there. Demyx grinned and took a seat.

"Hi mom! Hi dad!" Roxas could see the resemblance immediately. Demyx was almost a younger, slimmer copy of his father. His mother had similar sandy blonde hair and eyes that were a lightly darker shade of blue. "This is Axel and his boyfriend Roxas." Roxas smiled shyly, pleased with the introduction. He and Axel had never asked each other to be boyfriends, it had just seemed obvious. But it was nice to hear. Demyx's father seemed interested.

"Ah, you're the one who owns the farm he's staying at? What do you raise?" Roxas quickly found himself in a discussion about the farm and found to his surprise that Demyx's dad knew exactly what he was talking about. He found out that while his father wasn't a farmer, he handled loans with a major bank for very large farming operations. He'd even conducted a few site inspections himself so he knew exactly what a well run farm should be like. Although the businesses he dealt with were a thousand times larger than anything Roxas could ever hope for.

The food was the kind of things Roxas couldn't even name but he enjoyed it all and found that he was surprisingly comfortable. Axel was amusing Demyx and his mother while he was enjoying talking to his father. The wine was very good too and Roxas drank a bit more than he should have and found himself leaning against Axel a bit. Axel slipped an arm around him, smiling, as the desserts arrived.

"This is the best pie I've had in my life." Roxas said blissfully as he tried it. It was a blueberry pie with blueberry ice cream and a cute little cutout star of pastry on the ice cream. But what really made it in his opinion was the crust. This pie had the best, flakiest, sweet little crust he'd ever tasted. "We have to come back here someday Axel." He knew it would cost a small fortune but someday they would be doing better. Someday, they could afford little luxuries like this. Axel grinned as he ate his own dessert, a trio of chocolate.

"It needs sprinkles. But I'd love to come back." He'd had a great time too. Roxas just shook his head.

"You and your sprinkles." They lingered over coffees for a bit before finally saying their goodbyes and Demyx drove them all back home. "Mmm… Axel? Could I try sleeping with you again?" Roxas said sleepily. He was too tired to do anything intimate but he just wanted to cuddle. "Shove me onto the floor if I start thrashing around." That would likely wake up up. Roxas smiled as he felt warm arms around him and looked up into warm green eyes.

"Sure Roxy." Axel planted a gentle kiss on his cheek and they both listened as Demyx began to sing a country song as he drove. Then Roxas blinked as the lyrics penetrated.

_I'm sweaty and stinky and covered in lube._

_There's wine in my navel, there's jam on my boob._

_Don't ask me for more cuz I'm not in the mood._

_I'm sweaty and stinky and covered in lube._

_I went out last night hoping that I might find_

_Somethin' or someone to do;_

_Then I wound up makin' a handsome Jamaican_

_And his girlfriend, and her girlfriend too._

_Now I'm sweaty and stinky and covered in lube._

_His trousers are torn and she's missin' a shoe._

_There's a stain on my blanket, I hope it's not poo._

_I'm sweaty and stinky and covered in lube._

"Let me guess. That's the only country song you know Dem?" Axel asked idly as Roxas snorted then giggled. Demyx glanced back at them then back at the road.

"Yep! I'm not much into country. Well, I do know Texas Annie." Axel thought about that a moment then remembered.

"That's the one about a girl selling contraband dildos because it's a crime in Texas, right?" He snorted. "It's not even true, we have plenty of porn shops here." Roxas couldn't help but laugh. He knew that was true.

"But that wouldn't make a good song Axel!" Demyx said cheerfully. Axel and Roxas were both dozing off in the backseat when they arrived back at the farm. "Wake up guys, we're here." Roxas stirred with a faint protest as Axel popped open the door. They both managed to get out and get inside.

"Woo, it's late." They would need to go to bed soon if they wanted to get up at the proper time tomorrow. Demyx went to watch the TV in the basement as Axel and Roxas both got ready for bed. Soon they were curled up together in Roxas' room. Axel gently kissed the blonde and they both fell asleep almost instantly.

It had been a very long day.

* * *

A month or so later.

"Wake up Axel!" Axel groaned as something loud and obnoxious pulled him out of dreamland. He blinked as he realized Roxas was smiling at him cheerfully. "It's time to make hay!"

"Wha?" Axel blinked and swallowed, running his tongue over his teeth. His mouth tasted like a small animal had crawled in and died. He'd had a few too many beers last night as he and Roxas watched football.

Demyx had gone back to University and the two of them had gone back to their routine, but Roxas had been sleeping with him more often. They'd found that a good, hard shove usually woke the blonde out of his night terrors although it could leave him with some interesting bruises. The summer was progressing into fall which meant the harvest had to be soon… but Axel didn't see what the rush was.

"Why right now?" He said plaintively as he sat up and Roxas laughed, sitting down on the bed beside him. He noted with disgust that the smaller boy was already dressed and looked amazingly awake for six in the morning.

"The conditions are perfect. The hay is nice and dry. It needs to be dry, you see, or it can catch fire." Axel blinked at that and gave Roxas a dubious look. "Spontaneous combustion."

"What! You're shitting me." Hay could just catch fire? Roxas nodded.

"No shit. You see, the hay ferments a bit after you bale it. If it's too wet the fermentation can be strong enough to catch it on fire." Axel blinked at the thought. He'd never heard of such a thing but Roxas sounded very sure. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'make hay while the sun is shining'? That's where that comes from. Making hay is very sensitive to conditions and things are perfect now. It's time to do it." Roxas had been making hay all his life and was certain that now was the time. Axel shrugged and pulled himself out of bed.

"Okay, let me get dressed and washed and get some coffee and we'll make some hay." Roxas grinned and Axel smiled, charmed all over by the blonde. Roxas was excited by the prospect of a good crop and his enthusiasm was contagious. Soon Axel was freshly scrubbed and ready to go.

It was amazing how much he was enjoying this, he reflected as he helped Roxas all through the day. The work was mostly mechanized but they were making the hay into small square bales so he could haul them into the barn largely by hand. Stacking them was fun, throwing them up into place in a huge pile. Roxas wasn't worried about running out of room in the barn. Apparently the crop was never big enough to completely fill it.

"So this will keep the goats all winter?" Axel asked and Roxas nodded.

"Mostly. I might have to buy a bit depending on how things go but usually not that much." Roxas frowned for a moment as he watched Axel put another bale into place. "I'm sorry I don't have a stacker." He knew they really should but his father had seen no reason to buy an expensive piece of equipment when he could just have Roxas do things by hand. Axel shook his head with a smile.

"I don't mind. Go make some more hay." Roxas laughed and went back out of the barn. There were more fields to be harvested although they would never get done in just one day.

The weather held out and they were done the harvest in less than a week. Axel cuddled Roxas gently on the couch as they watched a movie.

"This is going pretty well, huh?" Axel couldn't be sure but he thought things were going nicely. Roxas nodded.

"I think so." He could never be entirely sure though. One bad illness with the goats or rabbits could wipe out his savings in the blink of an eye. "Axel?" He waited until the redhead looked down at him to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Axel murmured and stroked his hair, making Roxas sigh and cuddle up.

It felt so good to be loved.


	9. Sometimes You Need Help

Time passed and the weather grew colder. Although not really that cold.

"It's forty degrees out Axel. Stop being a pussy." Roxas said impatiently as Axel grumbled. It was early in the morning and the redhead would have preferred to be curled up on the couch with a mug of hot coffee.

"But Roxy it's coooold." He imitated Demyx and Roxas looked annoyed for a moment before he caught on and laughed. "And it's windy." That really wasn't helping. It felt like the temperature was low enough to freeze although Axel knew that largely an illusion. Roxas shrugged.

"Work faster and we'll get inside faster." He suggested and Axel grinned as he put more effort into cleaning the rabbit cages. He couldn't resist pausing to play with them occasionally. The rabbits were all very tame from constant handling. "I've been thinking about getting some angora rabbits."

"Angora? Isn't that a type of sweather?" Axel was vague on the details. Roxas nodded.

"Right. Angora rabbits have wool that you pluck off or shear like sheep." He said as he gently picked up a little bunny and examined her. Axel blinked and looked at the rabbit in his hands. The bunny twitched his nose at him.

"Seriously? So we wouldn't eat them?" Axel liked that thought. He thought it was a little creepy sometimes how Roxas raised his rabbits, played with them and effortlessly slaughtered them. Did most farmers play with their animals? Axel doubted it. Roxas just seemed able to switch something off inside and it was always a bit strange to see. Axel hesitated a moment then decided to ask about it. "Hey, Roxas?" The blonde looked over curiously. "Don't take this the wrong way but, um… do most farmers play with their animals?" Roxas thought about it a moment and shook his head.

"I don't know really but my father never did." Roxas slowly petted his rabbit, expression blank. "I suppose they were my only real friends as a child. I knew they were going to die but I got used to that. And… I decided a long time ago that even when you know life will be short, that's no reason to give up. They deserve to be treated well while they're here." Axel was silent for a moment as he thought about it.

"That's pretty deep Roxy. I just think they're cute." Axel cuddled his rabbit with a grin before putting it back in it's cage and starting on another. Roxas smiled before doing the same. "But then, my mind is so shallow you could skip rocks off it."

"Oh, that's not true. Although I admit you wouldn't need hip waders." Axel threw back his head and laughed at that. They cheerfully wrangled about the exact depth of his mind as they cleaned the rest of the cages and filled all the food and water bottles. They also examined even the unfriendliest rabbits but they all looked perfectly healthy.

"So hey, when are we going into town?" Axel said casually and Roxas shot him a quick glance. The redhead had been asking for a trip into town for a week or so and something about it struck Roxas as a bit off. Axel was acting like he didn't care but the blonde was sure he cared very much.

"I suppose we can go tomorrow." Roxas said slowly and caught the flash of pleasure in Axel's eyes. "What exactly did you want to do?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go to a movie and get some popcorn and stuff." Axel said happily. "And I need to take care of some business at my bank if you could drop me off for an hour or so." Axel missed the way Roxas' lips tightened for a moment. He remembered something he had seen…

* * *

_A week or so in the past._

"_Axel? Supper's ready." Axel pushed himself away from his computer and clicked to minimize a conversation but missed. The redhead didn't notice and Roxas glanced over his shoulder, catching just a bit of it._

_~Meet you at the coffee shop on MacKenzie street?_

_!Sure I'll have to see when._

* * *

"Where is this bank?" Roxas asked casually as they walked back to the house.

"Oh, it's on MacKenzie street near the corner of Main." Axel finally noticed Roxas' stiffness. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Roxas said softly then manufactured a smile. "Sure, we can do that." But the blonde couldn't stop the jealous anger rising inside him and he wasn't really trying. Axel was meeting someone he'd met online? Why? And the truth was, the jealousy was fed from his fears. Roxas knew he wasn't the most stable, outgoing person in the world. Axel on the other hand was practically the poster child for outgoing friendliness and emotional stability. Why wouldn't the redhead try to find someone that suited him better?

Axel was mostly unaware of Roxas dark thoughts but he did catch that his lover was in a bit of a mood. Roxas started as he suddenly got hugged then had his neck gently mouthed. Roxas blinked then looked up into laughing green eyes.

"Hey, stop being all doom and gloom. We'll have fun, I promise." Roxas relaxed slightly into Axel's arms and smiled a bit more genuinely. Maybe Axel just had to go to the bank. Maybe it was a coincidence. It was hard to believe Axel was cheating on him when he acted like this.

One way or the other he'd find out tomorrow.

* * *

"Chee, I'm lucky there's really a bank here." Axel mused to himself then grinned. He wasn't going to the bank though. He quickly went to the little coffee shop and got a latte and a huge cinnamon muffin while he waited. "Mrph!" Axel dug in with a will and soon there was just crumbs and memories. Grabbing a free little flyer, he began to read as he waited for his partner in crime to show up.

"Hey, are you Axel?" A friendly voice interrupted his thoughts and Axel looked up with a smile. A man with shaggy brown hair and an eyebrow piercing was offering him a hand.

"That's me. Mark I assume?" Axel shook hands with a smile. "Good to meet you. So how's it going?" The other man smiled as he took a seat. "Hey, want a coffee?"

"Sure." Axel bought his new friend a coffee. "I have it right here, want to see?"

"Please!" Mark grinned and pulled a small box out of his duffel bag, offering it to Axel. The redhead opened it and smiled as he sipped on his coffee. "It's perfect! Thank you so much."

"It's nothing." Mark said modestly. "Mind if we kill some time talking? My work doesn't start for a half hour." Axel shook his head with a smile as he tucked the box into his duffle bag. He'd brought it to hide the cheap candy as he and Roxas went into the theater but it was serving a double purpose.

"Sounds good, Roxas probably won't be back for a while and I told him to find me here." Axel chatted with Mark for a while, just talking about random things like music and the weather. He was completely oblivious to furious blue eyes watching from a corner of the room.

"Well, I'd best be going. If you need anything else done just let me know." Mark finally stood, tossing out his coffee and Axel nodded with a grin.

"I might have something else for you soon." He had a few ideas on that score but it would depend on a lot of things. They parted ways and Axel was thinking about getting another cinnamon roll when a hand touched his shoulder.

"Hey Roxas!" Axel roused himself out of his sugar thoughts to see Roxas smiling at him, his eyes too bright. "You feeling okay? You look a bit off." Axel was immediately concerned, hugging Roxas and looking into his face with a frown. The blonde blinked and realized he'd somehow triggered Axel's creep-o-meter and tried to gentle his smile.

"I'm fine. Sorry, just thinking about something." He murmured and met Axel's eyes for a moment. The redhead looked puzzled but nodded and Roxas reached up to run his fingers through flame red hair. "Why don't we just go home? I'm not really in the mood for a movie. Unless you really want to."

"Hmm?" Axel grabbed a free newspaper quickly and flipped to the movie section. "Why don't we see what's playing before we decide?" He wasn't sure what was on. It was fall, past the summer movie season. "Let's see… crappy horror, chick flick, chick flick, animated… hey, that looks cool. Would you like to see Associate Professor Evil's Ghastly Scheme?"

"Say what?" Roxas was a bit diverted by the very strange cartoon movie that was currently playing. "…That does sound interesting. Okay." He smiled sweetly at Axel and the taller man relaxed a bit, smiling back and giving Roxas a quick kiss on the cheek. The blonde had probably just been thinking about his father or something equally upsetting. Roxas could be very gloomy sometimes but Axel could always make him laugh.

The rest of the evening went pleasantly enough although Axel couldn't quite shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right with Roxas. There was an extra intensity in their love making and Roxas was rougher than he'd been in some time. They were both left panting and spent, tangled together and slick with sweat.

"I love you Axel." The blonde whispered in his ear and Axel smiled, catching Roxas lips for a slow, intimate kiss that turned rough and demanding after a moment.

"I love you too." Axel said breathlessly as they parted and blinked as Roxas settled a hand beside his head, looking at him intently. That odd light was back in his eyes and Axel couldn't help but dislike it. He thought of that as Roxas' crazy mode and didn't know why he'd be looking at him like that.

"Do you?" Roxas murmured softly and Axel frowned. What was the blonde's problem tonight?

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" Roxas hesitated a moment as he looked into green eyes and almost said what was on his mind. But he couldn't. The rage and jealously and his certainty of what was going on just wouldn't let him. He shook his head, settling beside the redhead.

"S'nothing." He muttered, curling up beside Axel. "Nothing at all." Axel hesitated then shrugged, cuddling up to him.

"Well, if you're sure." Axel yawned for a moment then let himself drift off. Roxas stayed awake, just watching as his handsome lover fell asleep. Then he reached out to gently touch Axel's face. That other man… Mark? He'd been just as striking as Axel with his eyebrow piercing and rugged good looks. And they had looked better together than he and Axel did. More natural.

"He can't have you." Roxas whispered as he stared at the redhead. The look on his face would have alarmed Axel if he'd been awake to see it. "You're mine. _Mine._" Roxas took a deep breath before leaving the room. He couldn't sleep with Axel tonight.

Axel was very surprised the next day when Roxas brought out a special treat for him at lunch.

"You baked me a cake? Roxas, you shouldn't have!" Axel admired the garish little cake as Roxas managed an almost natural looking smile. "Sprinkles everywhere! Mmm, and cherry pie filling, this is perfect! Is it chocolate too?"

"Of course." Roxas said sweetly. Axel grinned then hesitated a moment.

"I was saving it but… ah! I can't keep it a secret. Hold onto that thought." Axel left the room, leaving a slightly confused Roxas behind him. He came back a moment later holding a box. "You know that business I was doing at the bank?" Axel was opening the box and missed the shock on Roxas face. "I wasn't really. I was meeting a local artist I met on Etsy. It cost me a lot but I had him make this for you!" Axel got the box open and offered it to Roxas. The blonde stared and slowly took it.

"…For me?" He said softly as he looked at what was in the box. It was a beautiful, handmade pendant. There was an oval of sterling silver filled with a beautiful tree made of copper and brass. All the leaves had been hand cut and then there was a little amber cabochon set against the tree. It was strung on a silver chain. "…" Roxas eyes suddenly misted over as he remembered Axel mentioning he needed a necklace. This was what was going on? Axel was cutting the cake and Roxas eyes suddenly widened. "Axel, wait!" The redhead looked up, surprised and Roxas had to improvise. "We need… something to drink to go with it. And plates. I'll get some." Roxas quickly went to get some water and as he was carrying the glasses and plates he stumbled.

_SPLASH!_ Axel jumped back, shocked, as water hit the cake and completely destroyed the icing. A plate hit the floor and shattered as well, for good measure.

"Oh no, the cake!" Axel tried to salvage some but it was hopeless. It was a soggy ruin. Roxas winced a bit then smiled. It was a smile of pure relief but Axel wasn't looking at him and missed it.

"I'm so clumsy sometimes. Don't worry about it Axel, I can make another." Axel looked up, a touch heartbroken but Roxas patted his shoulder with a real smile. "Thank you so much for the necklace, I love it. Here, let me throw that out." Roxas quickly tossed the cake in the trash and began a new one. This time without the extra ingredients the last one had had. He let the tasks distract him from the disastrous mistake he'd almost made. Axel was puzzled by the whole thing. It had seemed like Roxas had almost stumbled deliberately… but that was ridiculous. Surely he was just imagining things. It took another hour, but then they were eating a delicious chocolate cake with plenty of sprinkles. It was piping hot too, which Axel loved.

"Axel?" Roxas swallowed a bit of the second cake before looking at his lover. "I – I was thinking. I really need to get some therapy and I think maybe we can afford it since your credit card can cover any illnesses with the animals." Vet bills were the main danger but the credit card provided a safety net. "If that's okay with you?" It was Axel's credit card. Axel blinked at the sudden request but nodded.

"If you need it, you need it Roxas. Been having bad thoughts lately?" Axel took his hand and squeezed it with a warm smile. "You do whatever you need to do to get better."

"Bad thoughts…" Roxas shook his head and glanced at the garbage can. "You have no idea. I need to get better." He had always thought he was getting along fairly well before, although he knew most people would disagree. The events of the past day had shoved it in his face that he wasn't. His jealous rage had obliterated his reason. Roxas shivered at the thought of what would have happened if Axel hadn't picked that moment to give him his gift.

He needed to get better. He needed it so badly.


	10. The Word of the Day is Fluff

"Angie's List? Hmm." Axel was trying to figure out how to find a good psychiatrist. He didn't want Roxas to see just anyone. A bad one could do more harm than good and Roxas seemed to be getting more fragile. He wasn't having nightmares as much but now he would sometimes wake up sobbing and would hug Axel tightly but he wouldn't explain why. It was started to really worry the redhead although Axel dealt with it by just comforting and reassuring Roxas. Sometimes that helped but sometimes it made Roxas cry more.

_Hey Axel. _Axel smiled at the bright pink text. _What are you doing?_

_Not much Marly. Just trying to find a good psychiatrist for Roxas. Do you know any?_

_Actually I do. _Axel blinked at that. He hadn't really expected Marluxia to have any useful ideas. _But what's wrong? Demyx mentioned you were living like Old McDonald and had a rather creepy boyfriend._ Axel grinned at that.

_Old McDonald sitting on a fence, picking his dick with a monkey wrench… hah! Roxas is okay. He had a really crappy childhood though and needs help with that. He's not that creepy, Demy just got to see him kill a rabbit. You know how sensitive Waterbaby is._

_Well, alright. I'm sure you know best. You could try Dr. Ramstein. She's a licensed psychiatrist in the North part of town. She wasn't that cheap when I went to her but times are hard so her rates might have gone down a bit. Worth a check anyway. _Axel nodded to himself. Marly knew he and Roxas didn't have much in the way of funds.

_Maybe she'll take rabbits as partial payment. Thanks Marly._ Axel quickly went through the yellow pages and found the number. "Hey Roxas!"

"Yes?" Roxas called from the bathroom. He was giving it a good cleaning as Axel tried to gather information. Axel thought he was getting the better part of that bargain but the blonde didn't seem to mind.

"I've got a number for a Dr. Sherry Ramstein. You could give her a call and set up an appointment. She's in the North end, too, so it'd be closer." The farm was North out of town. Roxas poked his head into the room and Axel saw how pale he was.

"Could you talk to her?" He asked softly and Axel frowned then shook his head. He understood Roxas had problems talking to people, but that wasn't going to work.

"Not really. I mean, this is a psychiatrist. She's going to want to talk to you." Roxas winced but that did make sense.

"…Alright. But I'll call her from my bedroom." Axel looked surprised and Roxas smiled at him sadly. "It's a little private." He loved Axel and he did not ever want to burden him with what he'd almost done. It would have to change the way the redhead looked at him. Roxas was determined to make sure nothing like that ever happened again and that would be enough.

"Oh, okay." Axel nodded and went over to take the scrub brush. "Let me finish up in there while you call." Roxas smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He knew how much Axel disliked housework so that was very sweet. Soon he was in his bedroom, sitting on the bed and dialing the number. Axel had written it on a small piece of paper for him.

_Dr. Ramstein. How can I help you?_ Roxas swallowed hard at the smooth, polished voice and found he couldn't speak for a moment. But the other person waited patiently and he finally found his voice.

"I – I need to make an appointment. My name is Roxas." Roxas knew he was speaking too softly and tried to raise his voice. "What are your rates?"

_The first appointment is a hundred and fifty dollars. Subsequent appointments are seventy-five dollars. What are you hoping to get out of therapy? _Roxas thought she had a very nice voice, firm and professional but with a soothing quality. It made him feel a little better although he was still very nervous.

"I need to get well." Roxas knew that wasn't much of an answer though. "I have problems in my past and I – I can get so jealous sometimes…" Just the thought of that terrible incident made him cringe inside. He could have killed Axel. He _would_ have killed Axel if the redhead hadn't chosen that moment to give him the necklace. Horrible, grotesque, terrifying… Roxas was afraid of the darkness inside himself. He'd told Axel he'd never hurt him and it had almost been a lie. Then the voice on the other end of the phone focused his wandering thoughts.

_I understand. Would Wednesday at two be a good time for you? _Roxas sniffed for a moment then nodded.

"Sure." He was afraid and not looking forward to his therapy at all but he knew it had to be done. "I'll be there." He gave her his phone number and Axel's credit card number to reserve the appointment and she warned him that there was a twenty dollar fee if he failed to come. That didn't really surprise Roxas much. Chickening out had to be a problem with therapy appointments.

He kept his appointment and arrived just five minutes early. Soon he was sitting in a comfortable chair as the psychiatrist smiled sympathetically at him. She was an older woman, slightly overweight with dark brown hair. She wore gold wire glasses that glittered slightly under the warm light.

"Tell me a bit about yourself." She said gently and Roxas swallowed before speaking. It was hard to open up, so very hard, but he needed to do it.

"I'm a farmer. I raise goats and rabbits. I – I'm gay and I have a lover, his name is Axel. He's helping me and I – I don't know how to talk about this." Roxas knew what she needed to know. She needed to know all about his childhood and his issues with Axel but trying to force the words out just seemed like too much.

"Roxas, don't force it out. Take your time. Just concentrate on your breathing for a moment." Roxas blinked at that instruction but tried to focus on that. "In and out. Slow and deep." She waited patiently until Roxas was breathing slowly and evenly. "Every time you feel that you can't go on, just think about your breathing."

"Thank you." He whispered. He could tell it was helping. "Axel…" Roxas swallowed and had to think about his breathing for a moment. "I almost killed Axel." He couldn't look at her and examined the books as he talked. "I feel like a monster. He was just getting me a pendant and trying to surprise me and I almost killed him." There was a brief silence and Roxas swallowed as he imagined her expression. Surely it wasn't every day that a patient confessed to almost committing murder.

"Tell me about it." She said, her voice soft and neutral. Roxas took a deep breath and explained. Explained the way Axel had been hiding what he was up to and his jealous rage when he thought he knew what was happening. Roxas hated to think about the cake. He'd put enough arsenic in it to kill them both twice over and had been contemplating eating a slice himself. It was horrible to remember that mental state.

"How did you meet Axel? And does he know about any of this?" Roxas winced at that question.

"He knows I have problems. He knows about my childhood but not about the cake. Please, I don't want to tell him. He wouldn't look at me the same." Roxas sniffed, rubbing his face for a moment. "I met him in high school." Under her gentle encouragement, he talked about how he had observed Axel in high school and after. All the things he had noticed about the redhead. Then he had to get to other hard point. "I – I kidnapped him and kept him in my basement." Roxas swallowed then spoke hastily. "He doesn't mind anymore though. I let him go on his birthday." He knew psychiatrists had some duty to report crimes, there was a limit to confidentiality. There was a surprised silence for a moment and Roxas shot her a quick glance. Dr. Ramstein's lips were slightly parted with surprise but she recovered quickly.

"I see. Roxas, I think we'll need a few sessions with Axel here." Roxas could guess why. She was wondering what problems Axel might have, that he was tolerating all of this. Even if he was ignorant of some of it. Roxas hesitated and nodded. Maybe his therapy would be helped by having Axel there.

"Just don't tell him about the cake? Please?" That was a nightmarish thought. The Doctor hesitated a moment.

"I won't tell him. But Roxas, you must make me a promise. If you ever have thoughts like that again you need to come to me immediately to work them out. I'll make time to see you." Roxas nodded gratefully.

"Thank you." He blinked rapidly, a bit touched by the offer. She might have to make time out of her personal life to see him if something like that. "I really want to get better and I don't want to hurt Axel." She smiled at him.

"I believe that, or I wouldn't be offering." If she hadn't been so certain he was serious, she'd have been tempted to turn him in to authorities. Minor crimes were protected by patient confidentiality but not major ones, and kidnapping and attempted murder were very major. But Roxas had pulled back from the murder attempt and apparently Axel was fine about the kidnapping, which made things a bit murkier. "Please, if you could bring Axel to our next session I'd very much like to meet him." She glanced at the clock regretfully. They were out of time and she had other patients. "When would you like our next appointment to be?" She checked her schedule. "I could fit you in on Monday in the morning. Ten AM?"

"That would be fine. I make my own hours." Roxas could easily feed the animals before then and everything else could wait. "Thank you." He'd known there was a bit of risk in telling her about the things he'd done but how could he get help if he wasn't honest? And Roxas had a good feeling about her. Dr. Ramstein was easy to talk to and while she hadn't made a lot of suggestions today, the ones she had made had been useful.

He hoped this helped.

* * *

"I've never been to see a shrink before… oh hey! Is that a butterfly? Sweet!" Axel was immediately distracted by the office. Roxas looked curiously at what he'd noticed, a dried butterfly in a display case. Dr. Ramstein seemed momentarily taken aback at the brash redhead, then smiled.

"Axel, you're wasting time." Roxas reminded him with a smile. "And we only have forty-five minutes." At seventy-five dollars for that he wanted to make the most out of it. Axel blinked and plopped down beside Roxas on a couch. There were plenty of chairs as well as a couch in the room, probably for family therapy.

"Oh sorry! So what can I do to help? I'm ready for anything." Dr. Ramstein looked at him curiously for a moment. Axel seemed very relaxed for his first time at a psychiatrists office. But was it the first time?

"Have you ever seen a psychiatrist before?" She asked him and Axel shook his head.

"Nope, but you wouldn't _believe_ how many times I got dragged off to see the school councilor. Not to mention the guidance councilor but he finally gave up and told me to go flip burgers." The Doctor winced faintly and Axel shrugged. "Hey, he was right. If it weren't for Roxas kidnapping me I'd probably be busting my butt down at Subway right now. Or maybe I'd have joined the army, in which case I'd be getting yelled at by my sergeant."

"Hmmm." Dr. Ramstein could quickly see that the problem with Axel wasn't going to be getting him to open up, it was going to be shutting him up. They made a really intriguing pair. "Roxas says he kidnapped you. It seems a bit strange that you stayed with him. Can you explain that?" Roxas looked down but Axel just thought about it a moment.

"Well, you have to understand. Roxas never really mistreated me. I was scared of him sometimes but that's just how he is." Axel reached over to grip Roxas' hand and the blonde looked up, startled and then smiled at him. "If I'd had a family or a life he took me away from I'd probably have been ticked, but he didn't. My aunt died years ago and I'm pretty much alone in the world. I've been getting by on construction jobs in the summer and odd jobs the rest of the year. He took a couple months out of my life but it wasn't painful and I've got a purpose now. I'm going to make this farm work with the man I love." Roxas' eyes misted over at that and he impulsively hugged Axel who smiled and gently ran a hand through his hair.

"I love you so much." Roxas murmured softly. They stayed together a moment before Axel gently kissed his forehead and let go of the smaller man. The Doctor was watching them with a small smile.

"You look very good together." She said and that made Roxas blush slightly. He remembered thinking that Axel and Mark had looked good together… did he and Axel look that good? It was nice to hear. "I can see you love each other very much, but every relationship has problems. What would you say yours are?" She looked at Axel and he hesitated a moment. He didn't like to point out Roxas' problems but…

"Mostly how Roxas can get creepy sometimes." Axel admitted and Roxas winced. "I'm not always sure why he gets like that but I don't like it. Sorry Roxy." Axel took his hand again giving him a comforting squeeze. Roxas managed a smile.

"It's okay. I know I'm not normal." He hated it but it was true. How could he be normal with a childhood like the one he'd had? Axel squeezed his hand again before the psychiatrist spoke.

"Surely there are other problems between you? Every couple sometimes has fights." She smiled apologetically but Axel and Roxas didn't mind. It was her job to get into this sort of thing. Axel tilted his head to one side as he thought.

"Well… we did have a fight that one time I wanted all those plushies, remember?" Roxas sighed. He remembered that quite well. "Roxas was right I'm a collector of useless crap. But they were so cute!"

"That's not a good enough reason to buy them." Roxas said with mild annoyance. That had been a small fight and Axel had pouted a bit but then quickly got over it. "If you want them, spend your money on them."

"But my twinkies! How could I live without them?" Axel said in mock dismay and Roxas laughed. "See, he's the responsible one who's good with numbers and business. I'm the impulsive one who's good with people. It seems to work really well." Axel thought they complimented each other perfectly. Roxas held him back from his crazier purchases and he pepped up the blonde, making him feel better about himself and his life. It would have been easy for Axel to resent Roxas' control over the money or for Roxas to resent Axel's easy touch with people, but they both understood that trap and were determined not to fall into it. Dr. Ramstein understood that as well and looked slightly pleased.

"You seem like a very good couple. Although I will like to see you in some future sessions Axel." She thought he would be needed for some of the therapy. Roxas might have made a good choice in spite of his emotional wounds but they would have to be affecting his relationship with Axel. There was just no way it could be otherwise. They talked for a bit longer and Roxas explained the contract he'd drawn up with Axel for the ownership of the farm. She was rather impressed with that.

"You've put a lot of thought into this." She commented and Roxas nodded shyly. "Well, I'm afraid that's all we have time for today. Would you like to come alone for your next session? We might need to explore your past." Roxas nodded immediately. Axel knew some of what his family had been like but he didn't want to inundate the redhead in it.

"Please." They arranged a time as Axel watched and the two of them left the session. Roxas was feeling good about it and smiled as he felt Axel's arm around him, glancing up to meet warm green eyes.

"I think she thinks we're good for each other. That's pretty neat." Axel was very pleased by what he'd felt from the Doctor. And she'd seemed a bit surprised to find it was so. Roxas had probably told her all about the kidnapping.

"Yes, it is." Roxas said softly then nuzzled Axel for a moment. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He had no idea what he'd do without the redhead. Axel smiled and nuzzled him back.

"Ditto Roxas." He couldn't imagine life without his crazy blonde.

Things were going to be fine.


	11. It's Over!

Author's Note: As you've probably guessed, this fic is winding up. ^_^ One last fluffy chapter for you. Enjoy!

"Axel, I love you." Roxas said in a firm tone. "I'd live for you, I'd die for you, I'd probably kill for you. But I _will not_ watch Beavis and Butthead do America for you." Axel grinned as he looked at the movie he was holding. They were in the local Blockbuster trying to figure out what movie they should rent. It was turning out to be much harder than it appeared.

"What, you don't like toilet humor? Come on Roxy it'd be fun!" Roxas shook his head, exasperated.

"No. That's as bad as South Park the Movie. Worse actually. Look, I'm not going to make you sit through The Thin Red Line again but we need to reach some middle ground here." Axel looked pained at that. Roxas had loved that movie but he'd thought it was boring and pointless.

"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective? No? Hmm…" They went back to sorting through movies and Axel suddenly found something interesting. He'd seen it before but it was the kind of movie that was always worth rewatching. "Hey Roxas! Let's get the Shawshank Redemption." It was on sale too which was good. They were going for as cheap as possible which was why they were avoiding the new releases.

"Hmm?" Roxas looked at the movie, diverted. "I've never seen that but I've heard it's good. Okay." He thought he would like that. Axel smiled.

"Nifty!" He was pleased to hear Roxas had never watched it. He was sure the blonde would like it. They quickly paid for the movie and walked outside. Axel winced faintly at the bite in the wind but fortunately it wasn't really freezing. The temperature had dipped below freezing once and that had been a pain because they'd needed to heat some water for the goats and check all the rabbit's bottles. The goats could break the skin of ice on the tank but Roxas had gotten into the habit of warming the water anyway, just in case. Axel thought it was a good idea. He remembered from his time with horses that they wouldn't always break ice, although goats were probably different.

"So what do you think of those rabbits? Should we get them?" Roxas asked and Axel frowned, thinking about it. After a lot of searching they'd managed to find a local breeder who had some angora rabbits she was willing to part with. Apparently she was breeding for showing, not to sell the wool, and was willing to sell them a pair of not show quality rabbits for two hundred dollars.

"It'll be a lot of work." Axel wasn't looking forward to that part. The rabbits would need daily care so their wool would be nice when it molted and they could pluck it off. "The part I'm really worried about though is Wobbler. Will he be okay with them living in the house?" That was one of the breeder's conditions. She'd raised her rabbits to be pets and didn't want them penned in the back with the meat rabbits. Roxas nodded.

"He'll be fine. We got him as a kitten and dad wouldn't have put up with anything that might kill the livestock so he let me keep a few rabbits inside to make sure Wobbler wouldn't eat them. He'll probably have fun playing with them, especially when they have kits." The adult rabbits probably wouldn't be thrilled with Wobbler but their babies would grow up with him. "I think we should do it. We have the money right now and it could help a lot." They could pick the wool and sell it to spinners who would make it into yarn and then sell it. Or they could make the yarn themselves although that would be even more work. Roxas was leaning towards the former at the moment. He'd already had plenty of contacts in the rabbit community and it hadn't been hard to find people who really wanted more angora wool. Axel hesitated then nodded.

"Okay. Grooming them should be kind of fun." He was a bit hazy on how to do that but Roxas could show him. Apparently one of the rabbits he'd owned as a child had been a longer haired breed, not a wool rabbit but one that required grooming. It had been a prize from a contest he'd entered and Axel had been a little shocked that someone would give away a rabbit in something like that. What if it had gone to a kid who had known nothing about rabbits? Fortunately it had gotten Roxas and his father hadn't cared about the little pet as long as the blonde took care of it. It had finally passed away from a heart attack. Axel thought that Roxas partly wanted the angoras to have real pet rabbits again.

"Okay. I'll let her know and we should be able to pick them up next month." The breeder wouldn't let rabbits go until they were at least eight months of age so there was still one month left. Roxas gave Axel a quick hug before they got into the car. "We have… forty three dollars left of our budget for today. What should we spend it on?" Roxas asked and Axel thought about it for a moment. They'd already gotten the groceries so this was money just for enjoyment.

"How about a restaurant? I haven't been to one in forever. Hey, where's the map?" Axel quickly found it and started flipping through it. He knew the city much better than Roxas. "Oh nifty, we're pretty close to that Pho place I remember. Marly took us there for lunch one time. It should be right on twenty-third." Roxas glanced over at the map as he started the car and nodded.

"You be the navigator." He pulled the car out into traffic easily. "Marluxia… this place isn't too expensive, is it?" He knew Marly was pretty rich. Axel shook his head.

"Pho's cheap Roxas. We might even have money left over." Axel grinned. "It's called Pho What." Roxas blinked but kept his eyes on the road.

"That's… a horrible name for a restaurant." Someone had clearly been trying to make a really terrible pun. "Well, as long as the food is good." Roxas had never had Pho before but after Axel had explained the concept he'd tried making some. It had turned out to be fairly easy once you got the broth right, and Roxas had already known how to make a good noodle broth.

The food turned out to be very good indeed and they both enjoyed adding the noodles, bean sprouts and raw beef to the broth before eating it. Roxas got the beef and tripe bowl while Axel got just the beef. They both got the spicy variety and it was a touch eye watering but still very good. Roxas watched Axel eat for a moment, smiling.

Everything was going so much better. The therapy had been expensive but worth it and he was only going once a month now. Dr. Ramstein had taught him various coping techniques and he'd explored the pains of his childhood. The pain would never go away, of course, but he'd learned to recognize how his experiences had warped his reactions. Knowing was half the battle and it helped him see when he was 'entering his crazy-mode' as Axel liked to put it. His nightmares had decreased although Axel still sometimes had to shove him out of the bed.

Financially, things were going better too. The special kids he'd raised for the Christmas holidays had sold very well and things were looking bright. Axel's credit card had no balance and they were able to put a bit of money into the business in the form of two more nanny goats and the angora rabbits. Roxas' credit problems weren't over and he suspected they never would be, despite a change of SIN. But with Axel as his partner it didn't matter too much. As long as no one tried to seize the farm, but he was pretty sure no one could this far after his father's death. And the property wasn't really worth that much anyway. It was their labor and animals that made it worth something and he'd purchased all of them after his father's death.

"Axel?" Roxas said shyly. "I know it's a bit late but I got you something." They hadn't been able to get each other too much for Christmas, since all the payments hadn't come in for the goats yet. Roxas had gotten Axel a tin of drinking chocolate and some really good pies from the farmer's market while the redhead had gotten him a little candle in a globe. They'd actually come from the dollar store but Axel had carefully picked through the selection to find a candle and globe that matched and together they looked beautiful. Axel blinked.

"You didn't have to." He wasn't expecting anything else. Roxas shook his head with a smile.

"Yes, I do." He took out a small box and passed it over. Axel opened it curiously then blinked and laughed. It was another tree pendant, but this one with branches instead of leaves and little blooms soldered onto each branch. The centres of the blooms were tiny garnets.

"You got this from Mark, didn't you?" Roxas smiled and nodded. "I had no idea you were doing that! Sneaky. Thank you so much Roxas." Axel was really touched. He knew how much this must have cost and Roxas had to have been saving for a while to get it. "Hey, now we'll match."

"Yes, we will." Roxas smiled and caught Axel's hand for a moment, giving him a gentle squeeze as their eyes met. The warmth in the redhead's eyes was everything he could have asked for.

They would be together forever. He could feel it.

_~FIN~_


End file.
